For about the past 8 months my younger son has been slowly getting worse and worse at going to school
To start with he would go to school but I would get a phonecall at least twice a week to pick him up as he felt ill.
Then it progeessed to refusing to get out of bed, he would lay like a zombie wide awake but just staring into space while I begged and pleaded, got annoyed, yelled at him etc that he had to get up. No approach had any impact.
One day a few months back it hit a peak and I tried to manhandle him out of bed to physically make him get up, he burst into tears and said please don't make him go to school. This was the first sign that it wasn't just laziness. Since then he had been a little better (I no longer get annoyed when he won't get up, I speak to him calmly etc)
Last week we had an occasion where I believed he had gone to school but he was actually still at home in his room but had made it look like he had gone (no shoes by front door, picked up his bus money etc) I told him to get dressed and watched him set off on his bike. I found out a few days later from the school that we had been absent all day, I said no he was there for the afternoon and they said he wasn't, he then admitted to me that he had just ridden around on his bike until school finished and he could come back home.
Monday just gone he got up and went for the bus on time so I was relieved thinking we were in for a good week however he rang me from the bus stop and said read your message. I checked my phone and it said please can I come home. I rang him back and said No, you're up for school just go in etc you're already at the bus stop and he said but I just feel so sad. He said Please Mam. I let him come home and we had a cup of tea and he just hugged me for about 20 minutes on the sofa I could tell he was crying. (He is jotnone to ever show emotions or talk about how he feels)
I asked him why he hates school so much he said he doesn't know, he has friends, he is polite to teachers but he just has no interest in the lessons he says he can't focus and he dreads going it makes him feel sick all he wants to do is be at home.
He said nothing at home in our house is making him sad, nothing with friends, when questioned he admitted he misses his Dad a bit but not enough to make him want to see him (he doesn't like dad's new partner or her DCs)
He ended up having the week off (not helped by the fact I had some early shifts so was out of the house before he had to be awake)
I have spoken to the school and they said they will try and arrange a counsellor to speak to him next term.
Part of me believes he is genuinely dreading school but I must admit part of me believes he knows I am a soft touch and saying it makes him sad etc is a sure way to me letting him stay home.
His attendance is about 60% for the year and he starts year 10 in September, what can I do to help him?