Have I messed up?

[TiredMum30]

I think I messed up, in a conversation with my sons school today I told them that I think he's smoked weed on 2 occasions, the most recent occasion being yesterday. I don't know why I told them, we was having a conversation about his behaviour in school, the SEN team have recently sent us a referral form for adhd. I'm socially awkward so i often overshare, as soon as i said it i knew i shouldnt have. I'm now worried they'll use this against him and put his problems in school down to the weed but he's always had these issues with not focusing, struggling to get on with his work etc since he was in primary school but as he's gotten older he says it's gotten worse and it's affecting his grades, we also see traits at home.
He's recently got into the wrong crowd at school too, which is where we think the smoking weed has come from, he's been out with these lads after school on both of the occasions he's smoked weed. I'm sure he's only done it twice, the first time was months ago and he very rarely goes out on a weekend or after school, he suddenly decided he was going out with his mates yesterday, came home 2 hours later obviously stoned. His behaviour out of lessons has massively deterriorated since he started hanging around with these boys also.

Did I mess up? should i not have told them? We're really struggling with him atm and with catching him last night it was fresh in my mind and I was overly sensitive about it, I think I was hoping he'd get some support in school but now I'm panicking it will go against him. I suffer with anxiety and overthinking so my brain is going into over drive tonight.

How old is he? And are his "friends" the same age?

He's 15, so will be going into year 11 in Sept. His friends are the same age

Ime being honest with school is in your dc's best interests op.. Have actually told school similar recently..

Is he in a regular school or private/SEN school?

If he's in a regular school, I don't necessarily think you've messed up by telling them about the weed, but I'm not a teacher so don't know what, if any, safeguarding things they might need to do.

I'd expect them to be supportive of his needs still and maybe do some work around drugs etc. I don't think you've made an error and personally think it's positive that you've told them. To me it shows that you're willing to have an open and honest dialogue to try to get things sorted.

Have you put any sanctions in place about the weed?

He's in a regular school. I hope that they will be supportive. The sen leader did say they would look at putting some stratagies in place to help him with his focus etc in class and I've asked if they could possibly separate our son from these other boys during lessons, to try and minimise the disruptive behaviour but they've said it may be difficult to do so, but they'll look into seating them all separately.

We have taken his computers away and he's grounded for the foreseeable until we feel he's gained some trust back. He also hasn't had any pocket money this past month due to behaviour in school so we know he's not been buying any weed so he's more then likely been smoking whatever his friends have. And it's unlikely he'll receive pocket money next month either.