Advice from parents of teenage boys

[Lifecanbehard]

Please can I ask for some perspective on teenage boy thinking ....
Daughter, 14, quite shy with a small friendship group. Has a few boys as friends but never had a boyfriend. Group of boys at school, all good looking, best dressed etc a couple of which she is friends with. About a month ago another boy from the group started spending breaks and lunchtimes with my daughter followed by hours of snap chats after school and weekends. Asked her if she would go out when he got back from hols and then un-added her and silence. She's a bit upset and thinks it all might have been a wind up/part of some game they are all apparently playing and that people will laugh at her at school. I've tried reasoning that if it was he's spent an awful lot of time with her and hasn't got anything out of it so the laugh won't be on her. Plus he's on holiday with his family and maybe parents have limited phone time? Any advice from boy mums would be appreciated.

My two (nearly 14) would never do this, and DS2 says ‘if someone did that he is an arse and she is better off without’.

Most likely he has no data /lost charger / been made to leave phone behind?

He said amongst his mates this is not something that anyone would do as a wind up x

Not a boy mum but work closely with loads of teenage boys.. I dont think it's been a joke or a wind up..particularly as if it was to laugh at her then they didn't actually get to the punchline of getting a photo or standing her up etc
Either he's been in trouble with his parents or he's started seeing another girl maybe.

No experience of Snapchat, but other messaging apps with teens of both sexes - none of them think it's a likely set up. While it happens, that's more likely to set things up over the devices and then go cold face to face in front others.

The best guess is something on the parents side, particularly if the school has been pushing more control over devices or there has been any issue there and the parents set a boundary over the holiday.

Another guess is something discussed/done recently caused upset. It's not uncommon at that age for teens to treat each other like therapists and for one for freak out (both in something they said or something they were told) and/or get upset, tell an adult who suggests putting some distance for a bit until which some teens take as cut all contact right now.

Last guess is he got a girlfriend and either the girlfriend doesn't like him being friends with other girls on snapchat or the guy views it disloyal, lots of discussion in online influencer space around disloyalty based on who you follow online.

In any case, I'd encourage mine not to think the worst - as hard as that can be - and to have some caution when returning to school. Let him make the first move and see if he'll give an explanation.

Thank you all x