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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Help - Emotional teen break-up

2 replies

Sensibly · 07/07/2023 12:29

Hi,
I need help!! DD1 is 18, last night her boyfriend of over a year broke up with her on the phone (he claims he just isn't as in love with her anymore and finds himself wanting other girls so thinks they should breakup before he cheats!) She came through and slept in my bed (sorry DH), we woke up at 5am to listen to the Taylor Swift album, but I'm so out of my depth, I've been with DH since we were 16, never had to deal with a break up!!
I'm going to go to the shops and get her favourite snacks, told her to invite her friends over, but I'm worried as DD is a true romantic at heart, see's the best in everyone, is just a joyfully sweet girl, always lost in a book, romanticising the world so I think this might hit harder than it would some others. She's been blindsided, apparently on Wednesday they were talking about how they would make long distance work at uni and now this and over the phone!!
How can I make this easier on her? Just going to leave her to be in bed for today, is that the right thing to do? She hasn't stopped crying, it is breaking my heart!!
I expected them to break-up but secretly hoped it would be once she was at uni and the excitement of halls and classes would keep her busy, not the start of the Summer. They were meant to be going to Como together for a week at the end of August, so that will need to be sorted!!
What can I do to be helpful these next few weeks? She has a girls holiday to Santorini at the end of the month so hopefully that will help but in the meantime??

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 07/07/2023 12:55

Let her cry and mope for a day or 2.

It's great she has a holiday and Uni to look forward to.

Having your heart broken, at any age, is painful but most people have been through it at some point.

Snacks and a bit of tlc will help her through. Seeing her friends is also probably a good distraction.

IheartNiles · 08/07/2023 07:23

What the above poster said.
You can just be there for her, let her cry and agonise for a bit, she’ll get over it. Let her rant and be a listening ear. Keep her busy, it’s good that she has lots planned. Don’t get drawn into slagging him off, he hasn’t done anything wrong. If she spirals into obsessing, remind her that it would likely have ended in a couple of months, she deserves someone who is mad about her, etc.

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