Dd wants boy to sleepover

[Andi2020]

Dd18 boy is 20 first ever bf only been going out 3 weeks.
I really don't have a problem with bus staying over her older sister had first bf at 17 and he slept over after 4 months and 3 years later still together.

My problem is she will not go on birth control she says we will just cuddle but I am afraid she just doesn't know if you fancy someone how easily things can progress and especially if they are in bed.
I know they are adults but I just want her to date first go for dinner movies etc.

Have you ever heard of condoms? Which they should be using regardless of if she’s on birth control!

@Rollergirl11 yes, but I want her to have her own protection too. I'm just old fashioned maybe I don't know.thats why I'm looking wise mums on here advice.
I think she is excited about first proper boyfriend.

3 weeks seems a bit soon to have a sleep over, I think that would bother me more than the BC tbh.

I would sit her down and go through her worries re going on BC, I feel the same that condoms are good but they are not 100% and I feel like BC plus condoms is the safest protection.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies thanks the problem I now have is its tonight and she has already asked him. Yes they are adults she is working all day and he is coming back with her after work. I have told her I am leaving hom home at 11pm as I have work in the morning. Her dad is on shifts so getting up at 3.30. She hasn't even mentioned it to him and I know he will be same as me on this a NO. Its away to soon.
She is just moving away to quickly from no boyfriend to having a 1st and sleeping over in 3 weeks.

She's 18, if they want to have sex they will, regardless of whether it's at your house or not.

Buy some condoms and give them to her. It's her right not to take the contraceptive pill if she doesn't want to. You sound as if you'd be fine with it if she was on the pill which is a bit bonkers when condoms protect from pregnancy AND STD's.

She might have had sex with him already, perhaps she just doesn't want to discuss it with you.

@icanflytoday no she 100% hasn't slept with him yet and doesn't want to yet.
8 have always been open with them about boys/girls.
Yes it is 100% up to her i' m just advising her not to rush to date more first and visit each other for few hours, spoke with her this morning and she understands.
I won't get a proper chat until tomorrow as she off to work now and he is coming back with her.
They have to depend on us for lifts his parents aren't offering and as ge is 20 does what he wants and no one checks on him.

If mine live at home I'd at least like to know were they are no matter what age.
Are they going be in for dinner or need collected.

I asked him last week does your parents know you are here ge said no I don't tell them where I am so I don't know if they even know about my dd , she hasn't been in his house they have a hang out place at side of house where all his friends gather so that's as far as she got. I think 8f he genuinely likes her she should be meeting his parents too before sleeping over yes I'm a bit old fashioned.
Maybe it's because she is my youngest girl, I'm not ready for this step
Please no angry comments. I'm just a mum trying my best.

I didn't mean to sound angry but sorry if it came over that way.

I was responding to your first post really. It sounds as if you have bigger concerns around his family and your daughter meeting them and going to his house as opposed to the birth control issue you raised initially. To be honest, I don't think it's a bad thing that she prefers to have him at your house as long as they don't just head straight to her room. It gives you a chance to get to know him a bit too.

I think it also depends on if your daughter is young for her age. My niece is and this would have been more worrying. I was the opposite and very much living my life myself at that age but interspersed with good chats with my mum when I was home.

At 20 it's not that surprising that he doesn't report to his parents on where he is. At that age a lot of kids have been living away at uni for 2 years. I'd be more interested if I were you in whether he is responsible, does he have a job? Does he have ambition? Is he likely to support your daughter in meeting her ambitions?

@icanflytoday I was just really surprised at her to even suggest him stating as she is always saying her sister shouldn't be having bf staying and that she will never have a boy in her room that it is her space and for her only.
I have met him on Wednesday and he does work hard but doesn't know what he wants to do long term which is OK, as long as he is doing something I'm OK with that.
My daughter wants to work with animals but not academic so taking a long route to that currently studying Animal Care. And part time job.
He is to come up today and I
Leave him home at 11
I have spoke to my DH he is totally against any bf staying but won't stop them and gets on well with oldest girls bf.
I just want it planned better than just putting it on me that it is happening today. I just want a boy to respect her at nothing houses if we let him in our house he should do same at his house not hiding her in a garage.
Thanks for advice.