Just a bit of a moan, tbh

[Simonlebonbon]

DS15 has a job for the summer! And hopefully weekends when he starts 6th form.
I'm so proud of him, day after his exams he started looking for a job and at got one at the end of the first day looking.
He is my PFB, but he's also a genuinely good lad.
Anyway, I think this job will do him good. Earning his own cash, new skills, work environment.
But can some mums just hand hold with me? Handhold/put me in a cage until I'm not as mama bear?
He is a very polite lad and he's being spoken to like shit from customers, again, I'm sure long term learning many of the general public are gobshites will be useful. But yesterday an older woman belittled him in front of a crowd of people. Basically she asked him what the flavour of something was, he said, "strawberry, i think, just let me check", so he shouted a more experienced colleague, who's works were, "strawberry I think" and the woman berated him loudly, "I don't want what you think, I want you to know". (BTW it's pink ice cream within 3 other flavours, it'll be fucking strawberry) and it didn't shake his confidence for long, but it made him feel "stupid".
And his boss, the woman who employed him to start with, was very rude to him, because he hasn't been issued his NI number yet, he'll probably receive it mid August, but she was horrid to him about it. The night he was going to prom.
So were getting him all ready to go and he's on edge replying to really quite unpleasant messages, trying to be nice and actually apologising he doesn't have an NI number.

I won't get involved (I promise) but it did take everything for me to not reply, "its PFB's mum, watch your tone and sort out your payroll earlier than the day before payday, he's paid to wash dishes, you're paid to do the admin."

And I still want to punch the ice cream woman.

Anyway it's horrible realising they're still your child, but you have to let them fight their own battles and navigate this getting older malarkey.

On the plus side though, when he does get his first wages he wants to take me for ice cream where there's loads of bloody flavours!

Hugs! It’s hard but you have to let him get on with it. Arsehole bosses and rude customers are a fact of life and this experience will be invaluable to him.

As long as he can shake it off he’ll be fine.

@Simonlebonbon

Oh god-I can so relate! My ds was a football referee at this age (still is, but he's 22 so he can look after himself!) and I so wanted to TEAR THE PARENTS WHO SHOUTED AT HIM LIMB FROM LIMB! The only advice I can give you is to try role playing some situations with him-work out some strategies for dealing with awful people. And encourage him to look for another job-he must be amazing to have found one- there will be others! And gin. Lots of gin.

Rude people are part of life, he should look for a job which isn't customer facing if it's getting to him. Ultimately, learning this side of humans will make him more rounded and thicker skinned so if he can stick to it and suck it up, it will be good for him.

People are arseholes.

I remember having a real sense of sadness when DD went into a customer facing role. I hate the idea of people being mean to her but even more I was worried it would 'numb' her natural cheery happy self. It didn't. She still works with the public but she gives what she gets now. You be nice to her and she will give you 100%. If you are not nice you get the basic bare minimum. I was the opposite and always tried to be extra to the cunts, but DD has very low tolerance! It hasn't changed her as a person though which is what I was really worried about.

Some people are really mean without thinking how it can affect others.

I would let him know that if he doesn’t like it to start looking for another job. Make sure he understands that there is no reason to stick something out if the boss is a jerk.

Thanks mum brigade!

I appreciate your replying and hearing it will get easier!

My DD had just turned 16 and started work at the local tourist attraction for the summer. It was a huge learning curve. People can be complete arseholes. Someone thought their chips took too long and poured a cup of gravy over the table as they left!! She is now 18 and it has taught her huge resilience. She now works in a large shop and the customers continue to be dicks but it is like water off a ducks back to her now.

Dd had a complaint that the milkshake was too milky. It’s a particular demographic that are mean she finds

I'd let him get on with it but I'd encourage him to stand up for himself.

He doesn't have to accept rude messages from the boss, he can approach her and talk to her. I'd definitely advise him to be assertive.

Same with the customer. He can politely push back, for example look the customer dead in the eye and say: 'it's my first day, I'm trying my best' - and don't look away for a while.

If he loses the job so be it, he will find another one. Taking crap for people is not good for your mental health long term.

And I still want to punch the ice cream woman

Me too!

DD has had a part time waitressing role for a couple of years. She's really grown in confidence - and savings!

Plenty of arsey punters but she channels Michelle Obama "when they go low, we go high."

I honestly don't know who these people are talking to people, especially ones we created, like this!
But thank you for also wanting to punch the ice cream woman 😂
I'm hoping DS learns what your DD has!