Drugs

[Mamablue01]

So anyone that saw my previous post will have known I had an opportunity to go abroad for a while and I was worried about leaving my 16-year-old. Well decision has been made for me, I will be going no where, it has all kicked off recently, apparently he has a drug habit (weed) and has stole money from his friends to either pay a debt or to buy more.. I haven't confronted him yet, I was contacted by his friend directly. I have no idea how to handle this, we had a suspicion a while back but he convinced us it was just teenage experimenting and nothing since... I am heartbroken I can't go away and so bloody resentful which I know is unfair, Im worried sick about him and want to throttle him in equal measures

So he's 16 which is young anyway, was any adult doing to stay with him when you went away?

Yes, he was staying with his siblings which are 20 and 23, well 24 next month, very sensible no concerns with them at all, and his grandparents are close by. I just don't know how to handle the allegation that he has stolen from his friend, if I back him am I being a facilitator but if I dont believe him and take the word of his friend does that show I don't have his back... I just don't know what to do

I would have thought you encourage him to make any legit amends to his friend. You don't have to take a side, you just appeal to his conscience to be a good person & tell him that you know that he knows what the right thing to do is. Teenagers are idealists, after all.

Are his older siblings onside, they seem like they could be excellent advisors.

I'm not sure about you cancelling your holiday. I suspect it's much needed & you staying back might not fix anything, although it would show your DS how much you want him to be the best person he can be, that you prioritise that very highly, perhaps one of your very highest priorities.

The stealing would actually upset me far more than the weed. He’s 16, 16 year olds often smoke weed as a social thing. The stealing however does suggest something more and is concerning.

You need to get to the bottom of what actually happened and he needs to put right what he stole from his friend immediately. If he hasn’t got a job I’d be making him get one, less free time and more so no need to steal.

He is still denying it, I made the friend come to the house, apparently there was a group of them when the money went missing, I asked why he was so certain it was my son, his reply was "I just know" I asked again why, I told him he owes my son no loyalty and if he is willing to come to me then he should be willing to tell me if this had happened before or something but he said no, he just knows the others mates better so it had to be my son 🤯🤯

Sounds like they all chipped in to buy a bit and one of them has had it away with the money. One saving grace is that it's not a drug debt as such as that can be a very different animal. Can the 16yr old go to relatives whilst you're away. Can't believe his mate got you involved. When situations like this arose when I was younger, we sorted it out amongst ourselves no mums involved for obvious reasons. Hope you get your holiday.