NC for this, and I apologize for writing a book. It's just that I'm alone with this at the moment.
My DD (15), first boyfriend (also 15). Quite serious from the get-go. A nice boy, no problems there, officially together for three months but they were good friends beforehand. We've met him, she's met his family, they spend a fair bit of time together outside and at each other's places, no sleepovers (ha!).
It's become clear to me recently that sex is not far off. Of course I have been having age-appropriate talks with her throughout, which I reinforced since she's been with her boyfriend, as well as going through different scenarios with her. Firmly stated that I think both of them are emotionally too young for sex and they should wait, discussed why; provided condoms so she has them; set up a doctor's appointment to discuss protection choices. The doctor's appointment is next week. I should mention I am not in the UK and there are no legal issues with two 15 year olds having sex here, and hormonal contraception is provided exclusively at a doctor's office.
She came home crying last night - they had sex for the first time (if she's telling the truth, it was the first time and unplanned) and the condom broke. She and the BF then went and got the MAP right away. They paid for it together, it's quite expensive here, and I reimbursed them. She took the pill, but it is not clear if it'll work given where she is in her cycle... nothing for it but to wait. She came to me right afterwards and told me, asked me to please not tell DH unless she turns out to be pregnant. She wants a termination in that case, asked me which options there are and what the procedure is.
I told her I'm glad she came to me and that they did exactly the right thing, but I'm quite shaken internally. I've taken MAP myself two times in my almost 50 years, but have only been pregnant when ttc, was nowhere near sexually active at 15. Also, it's not nice to have this experience the very first time she's had sex. If it was a bit theoretical before, she definitely understands the need for backup protection now!
DH and I have discussed the relationship, of course, and both were aware it was likely to turn fully sexual, but I haven't told him what happened last night as she's asked me not to and I want her to be able to trust me. I haven't told anyone and am now shouting it into the ether...
I am meeting the boyfriend's mom for the first time in a few days. It's not my place to tell her, and I doubt the boy will. The school holidays start soon, a bit of a reset, and I hope I won't have to arrange a termination instead of taking her on holiday. I definitely feel I've failed as a parent, despite my talks with her, preparations and appointments. Of course, like everyone else, I have other significant ongoing stressors, and this is yet another thing; I have to be able to function to make it through the next two months, but I feel like crawling into bed instead. Thank you if you've made it this far, I don't actually have a question, I'm just stunned.