Teen doesn't want to come on holiday

Pastacheeseandwine · 2023-06-17T20:12:19+00:00

Just that really. Teenager doesn't want to go but is too young to be left home alone (he is 15). Younger siblings are still desperate to go. Teen will likely be very grumpy on holiday and spoil things for everyone 🤷&zwj;♀️ haven't really got anyone else to leave him with. Anyone else having this problem and have any advice?

BasiliskStare · 17/06/2023 21:16

How long is the holiday and do you have relatives or parents of friends you know well who live nearby ?

rosydreams · 17/06/2023 21:17

i would say ok fine stay in the hotel room with your phone.You can leave them in the hotel room.Its a shame but if you dont have any grandparents or distant relatives they can stay with ,what can you do.Is there even a relative a hour drive maybe

Dacadactyl · 17/06/2023 21:23

rosydreams · 17/06/2023 21:17

i would say ok fine stay in the hotel room with your phone.You can leave them in the hotel room.Its a shame but if you dont have any grandparents or distant relatives they can stay with ,what can you do.Is there even a relative a hour drive maybe

I'd take a different tack tbh. I'd say "you're coming on holiday and God help you if you make it difficult for us all while you're there. There'll be no phone for a month if you act up"

Madwomanuptheroad29 · 17/06/2023 21:25

15 year olds usually forget how much they hate everyone once they are on the actual experience. And if they don't they are old enough to stay in the hotel room / apartment and moan to their friends about how horrible it is to be on holidays.
They may become more cooperative if there is a reassurance that this is the last family holiday they have to come on.
Mine usually got the choice to come up with an alternative from about 16 and/or stay behind (but there were at that stage older siblings who moved back into the house).

Original poster

Pastacheeseandwine · 17/06/2023 21:26

So we are going away twice. Beach holiday B-road which he's fine with, and a UK seaside holiday which he is against. It will only be for 4-5 nights and there will be fun things incorporated for him, theme park, football pitch, nice good.

There is literally no one he can stay with and I wouldn't inflict him on anyone for more than a couple of nights incase the mask slipped.

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rosydreams · 17/06/2023 21:26

i agree Dacadactyl that not a bad idea,maybe try compromise with them say look i know your not happy about this trip but you can just stay in the hotel room with your phone as long as you behave .Any bad behaviour from you and it will be you alone in the hotel room with no phone

Original poster

Pastacheeseandwine · 17/06/2023 21:28

That was supposed to say beach holiday abroad. Then 4-5 nights in the UK, it's the UK break he's against and it's because it's a caravan site. Ungrateful so and so.

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PaigeMatthews · 17/06/2023 21:29

Dacadactyl · 17/06/2023 21:23

I'd take a different tack tbh. I'd say "you're coming on holiday and God help you if you make it difficult for us all while you're there. There'll be no phone for a month if you act up"

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This. Ffs he is a child. do not raise an arsehole. We have enough im the world. Sometimes you have to compromise.

RoseMartha · 17/06/2023 21:30

He is 15 you will need to explain to him that he will have to go with you and why and that it is not a choice.

Maybe do some activities while you are away that he would be interested in and if you can leave him at the holiday accommodation on his own for a bit take the younger ones to do something. they want to while he gets chill time. But also make it clear to him when he needs to be out and about with all of you without having a strop.

Or you could invite a friend his age along to go with you all.

Original poster

Pastacheeseandwine · 17/06/2023 21:31

Madwomanuptheroad29 · 17/06/2023 21:25

15 year olds usually forget how much they hate everyone once they are on the actual experience. And if they don't they are old enough to stay in the hotel room / apartment and moan to their friends about how horrible it is to be on holidays.
They may become more cooperative if there is a reassurance that this is the last family holiday they have to come on.
Mine usually got the choice to come up with an alternative from about 16 and/or stay behind (but there were at that stage older siblings who moved back into the house).

I'm hoping maybe once he's there he'll get into the swing of things.

He's only against it because he'd rather stay in swish accommodation, wouldn't we all though.

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Dacadactyl · 17/06/2023 21:32

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Original poster

Pastacheeseandwine · 17/06/2023 21:33

RoseMartha · 17/06/2023 21:30

He is 15 you will need to explain to him that he will have to go with you and why and that it is not a choice.

Maybe do some activities while you are away that he would be interested in and if you can leave him at the holiday accommodation on his own for a bit take the younger ones to do something. they want to while he gets chill time. But also make it clear to him when he needs to be out and about with all of you without having a strop.

Or you could invite a friend his age along to go with you all.

I think you're right. Can't be walking on eggshells, he needs to just suck it up.

I actually think he'd love to bring a friend but his two best mates are really flakey at the moment which is another thread, they'd let him down.

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Unicorn2022 · 17/06/2023 21:34

This is probably not the advice you want but I would say tough shit you are coming on holiday (and are bloody lucky to have the opportunity to have another holiday) and if you spoil it for anyone else that phone you are glued to will be removed for the whole of summer. He is 15 and doesn't get to make the rules.

Original poster

Pastacheeseandwine · 17/06/2023 21:36

Unicorn2022 · 17/06/2023 21:34

This is probably not the advice you want but I would say tough shit you are coming on holiday (and are bloody lucky to have the opportunity to have another holiday) and if you spoil it for anyone else that phone you are glued to will be removed for the whole of summer. He is 15 and doesn't get to make the rules.

Tbh this is exactly what I was hoping for and needed to hear. Just needed to be reassured.

Some people would be glad of any holiday.

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Pkhsvd · 17/06/2023 21:38

We’ve got the same issue (was tempted to tell her that I’d rather not spend the money on taking her either with that attitude); we’re going to see if she can bring a friend but failing that she’ll come and if shr wants to stay in the caravan the entire time then that’s her loss and I’m intending to make it quite clear that if she ruins it for the younger ones then when she’s 17 we’ll be considering if she comes on abroad trips

Pkhsvd · 17/06/2023 21:39

We will also be making sure there are activities that she would enjoy obvs but from experience if a teen wants to be grumpy then they’ll manage it even with their favourite activity

thaegumathteth · 17/06/2023 21:57

Yeah we are in similar situation and tbh it's tough shit. He can come and learn to be grateful,

Ginola2345 · 17/06/2023 22:06

PaigeMatthews · 17/06/2023 21:29

This. Ffs he is a child. do not raise an arsehole. We have enough im the world. Sometimes you have to compromise.

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Totally agree.

Sunnydaysareuponus · 17/06/2023 22:14

Maybe a calm stern chat about being respectful? Your hard earned cash is trying to give you all a decent trip away. He may not appreciate it right now but he needs to be mature enough not to spoil it for everyone else. Agree he attends meals together but will get free time to sulk and be a moody teen too.
Have faith.
We left a stroppy 15 year old with a relative last year as she wasn't a kid coming on a caravan holiday.. Guess who IS coming this year?