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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DS finishing high school, autism and high anxiety about the future

8 replies

CoolShoeshine · 14/06/2023 19:41

Has anyone got any words of help who has been in this situation? DS has struggled through school with ASD, he works hard and will probably scrape a pass in most of his GCSEs. He also works hard to fit in and make friends but has been subject to a lot of negativity from others who find him a bit odd.
Despite not having the best experience in high school he is terrified now that exams are finishing about moving on to the next step and has no idea about what he wants to do. Local sixth forms are high achieving so he would struggle academically. Local colleges are large and he finds them scary and intimidating although he is drawn to music and art courses. He is also fretful about needing to make new friends and getting employment in the future. The stress and worry is taking over his life at the moment and we are going to have an unhappy summer. Whatever words of reassurance we give him nothing helps as he is deep in negativity.
has anyone been in a similar situation and it has worked out better than you feared? Also does anyone know of any possible support available for the 16+ age group? And lastly would a doctor visit be helpful to calm anxiety during this time?

OP posts:
JeandeServiette · 14/06/2023 19:48

How long do you have? Is this for a 2024 transfer? Does he have an EHCP?

Would an autism hub or unit at an FE college be available and a good idea? DC1 ended up in a sixth form with a lot of other teens with Aspergers. Not a specialist provision but it worked out really well. I wonder what your best chance of achieving similar is.

Have you asked your local parent partnership for recommendations?

Sorry. Lots of questions there. Smile

Dotcheck · 14/06/2023 19:52

Visit the colleges.

Often the art/ music departments are tucked away, so he may not need to mix in the wider community.
Also, many colleges will offer visits so nervous applicants can ease in. If he has an EHCP, the learning support department will often liaise

atthebottomofthehill · 14/06/2023 19:53

Honestly this transition is extremely difficult for a lot of autistic people and he is definitely not alone. Some kind of structure is key. Can he also connect with other neurodiverse young people in some way so he knows he is not alone? Talking to a therapist experienced with neurodiversity in teens would also be a great idea to help him develop self understanding and coping strategies.

JeandeServiette · 14/06/2023 19:55

For example, there is provision like this (mainstream ability with autism support):-

www.weston.ac.uk/content/college-unveils-new-centre-people-autism-spectrum

More commonly, but not commonly enough, there are colleges that have special common rooms just for the autistic students m, where the support services are based and things are kept low-arousal.

JeandeServiette · 14/06/2023 19:56

Definitely get him to see the GP about significant levels of anxiety. It's a co-morbidity and needs addressing.

CoolShoeshine · 14/06/2023 21:14

Thanks for the replies I do appreciate them.
Unfortunately it is for this year’s intake, so only a few months away, which is why it has suddenly become an extremely urgent issue for him. It was always a worry but leaving high school has been the catalyst to the floodgates opening! We have done a number of visits for colleges and he finds negative issues with all of them, although some seem quite nice to me and like pp has said the creative buildings are often separate so he can ‘hide away’ if he feels the need.
he hasn’t got a special needs statement, he did have one when small but the school decided he no longer required it and unfortunately at the time we were pleased to didn’t see a reason to fight for it. Also now that he has got older he is very self conscious about his differences and didn’t want any extra help at high school although now appreciates that he might need some.
Taking on board all your help I will definitely get him a gp appointment, he is keen to get help with his anxiety. I’ll try and contact colleges to see what additional support he could potentially get, there isn’t an autism hub in our area unfortunately but the promise of some transition support would likely reassure him.
i’ll also see if there is an way of connecting him with other neurodivergent teens, that would be so nice for him.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 14/06/2023 21:27

My dd moved from school to college last year, she attends a SEN unit at a large college, she only sat 3 GCSE’s and only passed Maths, she attended a specialist school. She loves college but it hasn’t been easy, if I had my way I would remove her due to safety concerns but dd would never forgive me 😞. Most colleges have ASD experience, support will be offered if he has a EHCP so it might be worth trying to get one in place? My dd is hoping to progress to an Art course or cookery but I would like to move her to a different setting before she turns 18.

Fififizz · 15/06/2023 08:42

Are you on any local FB sen groups they often, through collective knowledge and experience of others can point you in the direction of things, especially lesser known SEN colleges/opportunities. Have you considered applying for an EHCP? It can be a bit of a gruelling process but if granted the provision in it must be made by the LA, it can also allow access to alternative learning pathways too.

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