Contraception

[Tiredskin]

My 15 year old dd has a boyfriend for the last 9 months. They're not having sex, yet. But they seem very settled as a couple and will probably last some time longer. Her friends have had the contraceptive bar put in. I would prefer, when the time comes, for her to have the copper coil, like I have.
I'm against hormonal contraception for a few reasons: it wrecked my libido, I put on weight and I don't trust the long term impact on fertility.

Interested to hear other people's thoughts?

I would go with what your dd wants tbh, have you got a sexual health clinic locally where she could go and discuss the options?

There is absolutely no way my dd would want a coil and she'd be mortified at the suggestion tbh.

I'm not a massive fan of hormonal contraception either but the risk of pregnancy trumps all my other fears! My dd has the patch which seems to work well, some of her friends have the implant and some are just on the pill.

Ultimately it has to be her decision.

Why would she be mortified? What am I missing? My dd would be led by my opinion. She's an opinionated girl but knows she's clueless over this. What are the differences between the patch and the implant? I thought they were similar.

The coil isn’t recommended for women who haven't been pregnant before. I highly doubt you'll find a doctor willing to sign off on that for a teenager. What has worked for you will not automatically work for your child, plus it's a very invasive and painful procedure.
You're against hormonal contraceptives for yourself. That doesn't apply to her. Have you actually talked to her about all options? It's not your decision. She should be fully informed and able to choose for herself.
Going by your last post you're not fully informed. If she'll be led by your opinion then you owe it to her to read up on all the options before pushing her towards what you're familiar with and what didn’t suit you.

Jesus Christ, the pain of a copper coil insertion for a child who has never been pregnant before is not recommended nor advised by anyone who's ever had a coil of any kind.

Go with the implant.

She can have whatever she chooses to have.

I don’t allow parents into my consultation room with under 16s for this exact reason.

Of course she can have whatever she chooses to have. Of course I'll do research about this. I thought I'd start this by asking mums on mn. Evidently I should go and read the literature. Like I did myself when I was 16. I read it very thoroughly. It didn't work out for me though and so began a very difficult 20 year process. The literature isn't foolproof.

I agree with everyone else's answers here, OP. We are in a similar situation and, though I have my contraceptive preferences and dislikes, I want DD to talk to a professional and make a decision for herself. As a teen I used something different than in my twenties, and now I use yet another contraceptive, all of them with different pros and cons. Unless she wants me in the room, I won't be there for her consultation but will support whichever informed decision she makes.

One is an invasive procedure having something implanted under the skin and the patch you take off and replace weekly. Both similar in terms of the hormones and level of protection they offer (99% effective.)

My dd would be mortified with the idea of a coil as it's very invasive, the thought of having a nurse rummaging around down there and it causing pain would be enough to put her off.

Op have you had the coil before? I am the same as you regarding hormone contraception, but I've finally settled on the mini pill as it was that or nothing. The thought of my daughter having a coil fitted is awful. My first coil wasn't fitted properly and gave me 6 months of pain, hurt on the way out. I had 3 full contractions the 2nd time I had one, it was agony. The third time wasn't painful but I was scared. The fourth time they couldn't even get it in as it was too painful. I've had both copper and hormonal coil, never again for me.

Your daughter will need to start on what the dr recommends and go from there, keep the lines of communication open with her and you can help her settle with the right thing.

The standard pill does work for a lot of people.

What the dr recommends sounds a bit archaic. There are so many options available these days. Can she go to a sexual health clinic?

My daughter is a bit older than yours, she has migraines so she couldn't have combined pill/ implant. She is now on the mini pill ( mainly to deal with her awful periods) Doctor did suggest the mirena coil if the mini pill doesn't suit her. Mirena is not hormone free it can be used if you have never been pregnant but I think the fitting could a bit traumatic for a teenager, I have one and think it is the best thing since sliced bread, but just because we are related doesn't mean are bodies will react the same to any medical intervention.

This idea that the sexual health clinic and the professionals are always right is completely wrong.

I did it all right. I read the literature, I followed the professionals' advice. It was an utter disaster for many many years for me.

I think for every woman it can be trial and error however i would be led by her and start with the least invasive option. I have never wanted the coil and over the years have had the pill and injection. Ds girlfriend at that age had the implant I think. Either way they should be using condoms.

But your daughter isn’t you.

Also, as a sexual health and contraception specialist nurse, I have had a lot more training and experience in the full range of contraception for women of all ages, some with medical and gynae history as long as my arm, I am not dismissing your experiences in the slightest but your experience is limited to what you have personally experienced.

Also somewhere above was mentioned 'only the pill'. There isn't any only about it. When taken properly it is very effective. I was on the pill for more than 10 years without issue.

I got lucky that the first thing I tried suited me. But it might well for someone else.

Thank you @WetBandits , but it's not at all limited to just my experience. I know loads of women who feel very regretful about the advice they followed wrt their contraception. I just want to look at the options. I know there are many. I also know that mindlessly following professionals advice can lead ot some very difficult experiences

There is quite a lot of misinformation on this page.
The choice should be DD's alone and the number one priority is avoiding pregnancy .
Hormonal side effects vary woman to woman and without trying a particular method one cannot really know whether it will suit.Whatever she chooses as a contraceptive method she should use condoms to protect against stis .
The copper coil can be fitted in a woman who has not yet had children but it is very unusual for teenagers to choose it has number one choice.
The implant is the most effective contraception and like the injection and the 'mini pill' contains progesterone only. The main drawback of these methods is the lack of a regular cycle which some women find disconcerting and can be a nuisance if it consists of very persistent spotting.
The pill, the patch and the ri g are combined contraceptives with oestrogen and progesterone. There is more certainty of bleeding pattern but they are unsuitable for women on certain medications or who have migraine. The pill used to be given in a way to mimic a 28 day cycle but this is unusual now as it is more effective given in a more tailored way.
She should look at the family planning association website to arm herself with information and attend her GP or a sexual health clinic to discuss her choices and options s.

Just to add, you may have found that certain contraceptive methods didn't suit you but it is rather dangerous and inaccurate to suggest that experts don't know what they are talking about in this field. Pregnancy is much more dangerous than any of the methods of contraception although all of them have side effects both minor and major in some cases. The hormonal contraceptives are protective of fertility in many cases and do not have a negative effect on it.Coils, copper and mirena have a risk of infection at insertion which in rare cases could effect fertility.

You’re being a little overbearing and making your daughter’s contraceptive choices about you and what you want her to have as it seems you think you know better than anyone.

It should be your DD ‘looking at the options’ and coming to her own decisions without any pressure from you to choose one thing or another.

Changed name as may be outing.

We took DD to the GP as they know our family history - mainly inflammatory breast disease and a couple of other bits - so could discuss things when knowing the background, iyswim. She's also under the gynae for endometriosis investigation so discussed with them.

She is on the pill, as after discussing with both specialists it was the best option. It's not one they could recommend to me - which just proves that just because something didn't work for you, it won't be the same for your dd.

I was not at DD's consultations. I gave her the information she needed and left her to it on the grounds that if she was old enough to have sex then she was old enough to discuss contraception with her GP in private. She was older than your DD (18) but I would have been the same had she been younger.

If you think that the relationship is nearing the point that they will have sex, maybe suggest that your DD make an appointment either with the GP or at a sexual health clinic and go from there. Whatever you do though, don't force her to go down a particular route (especially the bloody mirena one) as it could damage both your relationship with her and also how she feels about sex.

This is incorrect. There are a few different coils. Some physically smaller, to in theory, be better suited to those who haven't had kids yet.

I'd take her to sexual health and let her decide. My sons ex girlfriend (teenagers) asked me to go with her as she was nervous and didn't have her own mum to talk to. She was 16 and they put in a coil, her decision and yes slightly uncomfortable but didn't take long.

Your allowing her to have a bf and no contraceptive at all ok let me know when baby will be due. Cmon don't believe for one second there not up to stuff after so long and highly surprised she isn't on something if your a responsible mum teaching her to be responsible.

Though I should say that's not copper coils. My experience is with the hormonal coils.

That's not how I read it.
Besides, you don't need a prescription for condoms. They are not 100%, but they definitely count as contraceptives.