Chores!

[RabbitsRock]

What do your teens do around the house? DD14 will “ tidy her room” which basically involves chucking a load of stuff out onto the landing then waiting for DH or me to move it. We have kept trying to get her to pull her weight - she does odd bits for a while then it stops again. She blames her mental health. About the most she does is empty the dishwasher. We take pocket money off her if she doesn’t do as she’s asked but nothing really seems to get through. She will turn it around onto me & say that I don’t do stuff (I’m physically unwell & admittedly haven’t been keeping ontop of things). I try to explain that we all live here so we all need to do our bit in keeping the house clean & tidy. DH works full time but definitely does his share & more since I’ve been struggling.

TBH, mine never did chores other than keeping their room tidy. It wasn’t worth the hassle. But they didn’t get pocket money either.

Anyone else?

DD tidies her room when she likes (it's fairly regularly), but also dusts around the house, vacuums, cleans bathrooms etc. Nothing too demanding or time consuming (perhaps 20-30 minutes a week tops) but just contributing to general maintenance. She also cooks an evening meal about once a week/fortnight. This is not connected to pocket money.

She is expected to do nothing during exam time.

@RabbitsRock
Nothing unless badgered and I’m inconsistent in the badgering department. On the flip side constantly nagging for expensive stuff without understanding his lack of contribution to the general smooth running of the house. I’m really fed up with the situation but not sure how to turn it around. Requests to do things are ignored or met with unpleasantness and suggestions of consequences for not complying like turning the internet off create explosive behaviour. He’s an ASC teen so I know that has an impact but I can’t help feeling it’s somehow it’s my fault too for not handling it better.

No pocket money until she does her chores.
or rather, plays her part in keeping the household running effectively.
sounds like she needs to develop some compassion and respect.

she chucks stuff onto the landing - I’d chuck it into a black bag and hide it. You are not her servants.

put it this way - you are preparing her to live an independent life, and there aren’t going to be people treating her like she is 5.

My two (13&15) empty the dishwasher at the weekends and sweep the floor after dinner, empty the recycling, put the milk bottles out, wipe the table. They do argue about who is doing what and when (with each other, not is). Dd looks after the rabbits while they are outside in the garden, Ds will Hoover the front room and my car if I ask him nicely. He’ll also mow the lawn if asked. They both tidy their rooms when I ask - they aren’t that bad but I ask that floors are clean so I can clean them (laminate), and I’ve recently started leaving them to put their duvet cover and pillow cases on. They don’t help out much in the kitchen, but if we get a Guosto box they argue about who is cooking what 🙄 DP says that they don’t do much but they generally will do things when I ask but possibly less so if he does (I tend to get the treats in, which might be in my favour!)

Ds13 & dtwins (boys- stepsons- 12)

• Change own bedding
• hang out washing
• wash up
• lay table
• wash cars
• put away own laundry
• ds13 help with food prep/cooking

All is done begrudgingly!

Occasionally I'll write tasks on bits of paper and put monetary values on them (50p-£2!) usually applies if I have gardening tasks to do, or car cleaning/hoovering. They seem to respond well to that as they get to pick their tasks and earn "extra" pocket money- and given that they don't get much it is a motivator!

Eldest, 15, keeps his room very tidy and hoovers it every 2-3 days as well. He also washes the cars and helps with other things which we pay him for. Youngest is 12 and isn't nearly so tidy but we're working on it with him! He will wash the cars as well sometimes,and is very helpful if anything needs assembling or any tech/electrical/Wi-Fi stuff needs troubleshooting. He also cooks a meal sometimes. They also both help look after the dog.

My 12 year old tidies his room once a week roughly, changes his own bedding, puts his own clothes away but doesn’t do much of the rest of the house. I’ve taught him how to clean the toilet, he’s washed up a few times and he puts the recycling out or empties the dryer/puts clean washing in it if I ask. He asked me the other day if he could start having pocket money for doing chores and I said yes but then he changed his mind and decided he didn’t want money that badly 🙄 he does help clean up messes made by his little brother without me asking and he does everything else without much moaning so I can’t complain really. I want to get him helping with the rest of the house eventually but I forget to ask him.

One of his friends gets pocket money for doing chores, one gets no pocket money but is grounded for not doing chores and another gets pocket money but doesn’t do chores.