I am really not sure whether I’m being horrible or not so be kind please.
My 17 year old son has been kidnapped and replaced with some sort of hideous troll. I’m at my wits end with him. I have given him chance after chance but right now I feel like he does not deserve the nice room so I have told him he will be swapping with my 5yo who has a box room with no room for toys.
Teen has been awful. The usual terrible mess in the room at all times, but this has stepped up massively lately. Used condoms on the floor. Weed. Smoking weed and vapes out of the window (non smoking household so really so disrespectful). Climbing out of the window at night to go out and not be seen on the Ring doorbell. (Who knows why, if he just asked me if he could go I would let him. He shouldn’t even have to ask but if he goes out in the evening he does not get up for work which then falls back on me to wake him etc adding more stress to my day and causing so much resentment as I also work full time and have other children and should not have to be waking a 17yo multiple times until he gets out of bed! He has taken our phone contracts etc so I can’t let him lose his job and get into financial trouble too!)
I am fully aware that teens can be pigs. But the level of sneakiness and disrespect has really been bothering me. He does nothing to help in the house, does not follow the only simple rules we put in place etc. He is furious that I’ve said he now needs to swap for the box room, saying how dare I as he pays rent etc (He does, a whopping £100 for all his food, washing etc a month on a wage of £1200) as I asked him a week ago to please tidy his room and he hasn’t even attempted it.
My 5yo would desperately love a room he can play in. We are tight for storage and he really has nowhere with floor space for playing. Teen has a lovely double room that he has destroyed, holes in walls etc but only ever lies in bed watching telly so doesn’t need the space! We have given the bigger rooms to the bigger kids due to age but I feel torn on whether making him swap is justified or really unfair!
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
AIBU to make my teen swap bedrooms?
FlyAwayBaby · 31/05/2023 20:42
Secondwindplease · 02/06/2023 10:11
It would be a cold day in hell before a child smoked weed in my house. How have you raised a son that thinks this is in any way acceptable?
Give him the small room and make that just the start of enforcing boundaries and consequences, for everyone’s sake.
PinkMimosa · 02/06/2023 12:06
This is exactly why you need to post in the SN Teens section @FlyAwayBaby.
You should get far fewer ableist responses in there
Secondwindplease · 02/06/2023 10:11
It would be a cold day in hell before a child smoked weed in my house. How have you raised a son that thinks this is in any way acceptable?
Give him the small room and make that just the start of enforcing boundaries and consequences, for everyone’s sake.
PinkMimosa · 02/06/2023 12:06
This is exactly why you need to post in the SN Teens section @FlyAwayBaby.
You should get far fewer ableist responses in there
Secondwindplease · 02/06/2023 10:11
It would be a cold day in hell before a child smoked weed in my house. How have you raised a son that thinks this is in any way acceptable?
Give him the small room and make that just the start of enforcing boundaries and consequences, for everyone’s sake.
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PinkMimosa · 02/06/2023 12:50
I’ve re-read the OP several times and can’t see any mention of special needs or disabilities (unless being a hideous troll now counts?).
The OP mentions ADHD in a more recent post.
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