My son is 12, and is extremely sociable and active. His favourite thing to do is to be out on a bike, roller blading, skates, playing football. Prior to high school this was with one other friend who lives on our estate. Lovely .
Since starting high school there is a gang of them knocking around together. Including his best mate. So obviously he wants to be with them.
The issue is , is that he's not really like them. They are not bad lads at all but are a bit rough and tumble, will take the mickey out of each other etc, grab each others phones and prank people etc, take his ball and kick it in a bush, that type of stuff. I know my son doesn't like this. He is really sensitive and takes everything very personally and literally. We think he had adhd/asd but is not diagnosed as they said it was very mild & he was discharged. They don't do the biking, skating etc , they just roam the streets or sit at the park. Do he's stopped doing all that now .
He's been coming home upset and angry on almost a daily basis and taking it out on me and shouting at me. This is because he isnt enjoying being out with them. He either gets hurt, left out or is jusr feeling very anxious and on edge whilst hes with them. Yet the next day immediately wants to go out with them again. I think this is because 1.he doesn't want to miss out and 2. Desperately wants to fit in
They do a lot of stuff without him/don't invite him. It's obvious to me that he is on the fringes of this group and they really aren't bothered whether he is there or not. Which is totally fine. But he insists on going out every night with them. Tonight he's come home from school angry because they walked off from him, got changed as quickly as possible and was straight out of the door to go and find them to hang out. I think this makes him look really desperate.
We've sat him down and talked to him about it ,suggested he try and make some different friends that are more like him and he would enjoy their company alot more. He will not listen at all.
I've pulled back now and I'm letting him make his own mistakes that he will hopefully learn from but I am sick of him coming in and shouting at me because he's upset. Any advise?