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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Removing children from school process

20 replies

Womanofthehour · 22/05/2023 18:08

Can anyone point me in the right direction for removing my children from their school due to safeguarding concerns please? Possibly to temporarily home school whilst I find a new school.
background is that I have 2 teens who are really unhappy. Both being picked on by the same teachers, both been bullied by a group of boys which the school didn’t solve, personal attacks from one teacher towards me who called me names during a meeting and is generally unpleasant to deal with but contacts me daily for no apparent reason and reports me if I can’t answer whilst working.
it’s come to a head now that my eldest decided to bunk school and easily walked out of the school gates, past staff members and cctv and no one knew for 3 hours they were missing. Obviously I’m furious with my teen who is now grounded and lost all privileges, but the school are blaming me rather than taking accountability for their poor safeguarding.
Im not happy with the school or staff any more so I want to remove them but without accusations of safeguarding concerns or involvement with authorities. They’ve implied I’m a bad parent and my teens general misbehaving is a result of that, despite the majority of the school behaving the same and having no repercussions. I don’t want any trouble I just want my teens to be happy and safe.
I’ve tried to work hard with the school for a year to no avail, and the teens have been on a waiting list for the next closest secondary school for a year with no luck. I’m at a loss what to do but I know it doesn’t benefit them to stay put any longer. Any advice and stories of your experience will be gratefully welcomed.

OP posts:

TeenLifeMum · 22/05/2023 18:11

I’d report to governors and ofsted and move schools (but I work full time and would not be well-placed to homeschool effectively). I imagine different local authorities have different rules as nothing is aligned in the UK so asking here may not be accurate for your location.

Spendonsend · 22/05/2023 18:16

You just write to the school and tell them they are leaving for home education.

Humanswarm · 22/05/2023 18:16

Hi, what Local Authority are enough under?
I believe you just have to write a letter to the Head and explain that your deregistering your children, with the intent to HomeSchool. I wouldn't go into any more detail than that.
You may have the school get in touch, but stand firm. The law is all children are required to have an education, that does not mean within a school though.
Have a look at the School/homeschooling threads on here.
With half term coming up, I'd submit your letter ASAP and say Friday will be their last day.

Original poster

Womanofthehour · 22/05/2023 18:19

Thank you for your replies, would you all do the same thing? I worry my anger is making me irrational with the choice to remove them.
I worry they won’t be able to socialise very often and home schooling isn’t ideal so it would be temporary until they begin a new school.
I didn’t realise it would be as simple as deregistering, I had visions of social service accusations of neglect for withholding formal education. I’ll look on those boards thank you.

OP posts:

Saucemonkey · 22/05/2023 18:22

home schooling is hard, but home schooling on the approach to GCSE is worst . What age are you kids ?

Spendonsend · 22/05/2023 18:32

Personally I would call other schools/LA to find out if any had a space, even if they were further afield as homeschooling is a major undertaking.

Dacadactyl · 22/05/2023 18:35

Have school said outright they're concerned about your parenting? They may well refer to SS if you then decide to deregister them (altho I'm not a teacher it's what I'd do if I was)

How do you intend to homeschool them while working?

Humanswarm · 22/05/2023 19:41

@Womanofthehour in usual circumstances, there would be no referrals to anyone other than the Education Welfare Officer who may give you a call/write to you etc.
It really depends upon what school are currently saying, but I doubt SS would intervene if you can show that it is in your children's best interests.
I would be calling to speak to Heads of other schools, asap. They may be over subscribed but may be able to make space. Worth talking to them.
If my teens were consistently unhappy, for various reasons and all interventions had been tried, then yes, I absolutely would and have done what you are suggesting.

Original poster

Womanofthehour · 22/05/2023 20:04

Thanks all. The safeguarding woman has hinted she thinks my parenting is failing my children, despite having no knowledge of our personal life and there being no concerns to date. My children are happy and well looked after at home, it feels like as she picks on my children she’s also trying to do it to me. They’re year 9 and 8 so yes important GCSE time coming up. I have nothing to hide in regards to social service, I would prefer not having the hassle of answering to people for making a decision to remove them from the school however.

OP posts:

Humanswarm · 22/05/2023 20:15

I guess then, all you can do is try. You are 100% within your legal rights to deregister. Anything else, I obviously can't guarantee due to not knowing you/ the children or school..but it was a simple process for me.

HairyKitty · 22/05/2023 20:20

So far as home educating is concerned, you write a letter to the head teacher with signed for delivery or by hand with a receipt, stating that you will be home educating with effect from (give the date ie the date of the letter). And that’s it. The school must immediately remove your child from the school roll and inform the education team at the LA (who will contact you in due course).
However whether or not the school tries to conflate education with child welfare is a whole other topic, they may or they may not do so.
I would probably want to get ahead of the game by writing a (legally unnecessary) letter to the LA education team.

HairyKitty · 22/05/2023 20:23

Meaning something stating that going forward you will now be taking full responsibility for their education and could they please inform you of the next steps.
But do be aware that you do need to be able to provide a suitable education from the outset (which doesn’t need to look like a school education).

Saracen · 23/05/2023 15:50

I've answered at more length on your other thread about the process of doing exams while home educating. There are different options, none of them easy, but that may be preferable to leaving your children where they are if they are very unhappy.

With respect to deregistration, you'll find template letters on the Education Otherwise website for removing a child from mainstream school in England or Wales to home educate them. The process is different for a child at a special needs school, and also different in Scotland; in both cases you must obtain the consent of the Local Authority but that should be straightforward.

Schools do occasionally make malicious referrals to Social Care when parents take children out, often to try to cover their own backs if they have failed in their duty of care to the children and fear this will come out. Most school staff are too sensible to try to pin the blame on parents: they know that social workers will see through it. After all, if the school had had genuine concerns about the children's welfare, they would have made a report at the time. Waiting and reporting after the children have left does look like the school is being vindictive or covering themselves. So I wouldn't worry about that. There is a small chance you'll get a call from a social worker, but it should be open and shut if there are no other issues.

cansu · 23/05/2023 17:29

I think you are presenting a very partial picture here. The idea that teachers are picking on both your kids and constantly phoning you for no reason seems very ...unusual.

Original poster

Womanofthehour · 23/05/2023 17:53

Thank you all for taking the time to reply with helpful information, we have thankfully been offered an alternative school they can begin after half term.

cansu do you have anything to add or are you just trying to imply I’m lying/hiding something? Yes they have been bullied by two teachers who have also bullied other children, so whatever provoked you to take the time out of your day to post something so pointless when I haven’t gone into detail on the thread, was really unnecessary… but thanks for wasting your own time to let me know your opinion!

OP posts:

Saracen · 23/05/2023 20:22

Fantastic news OP! I'm very happy for you and your kids. Hope all goes well at their new school!

Humanswarm · 23/05/2023 20:42

Good luck to your children in their new school! Must be a relief OP? I hope they relax over half term now, and you!

Original poster

Womanofthehour · 23/05/2023 23:03

Thank you! Yes huge relief!

OP posts:

Jas5mum · 24/05/2023 00:09

Congrats on the new school!
A friend on fb has deregistered her child from school in Plymouth due to similar issues.
I'd report that school to its governors and also to ofsted. Thats appalling that they didnt know he was missing for 3hours.
That teacher whose been harrassing you needs investigating too!

NorahNorah · 28/05/2023 08:24

All the best @Womanofthehour I wish you and your children every success. @cansu has a point .. have the teachers been reported, written to them, the head, the school's admin .. even the board of education. I know you say you don't want any fuss, but you've got to cover your back too - and I would say this is also doing the best by your children. Besides, isn't it all loads of fuss already?

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