My teens hate each other

[Cumberlandgap]

DS 13 and DD 16 really don’t get along. They barely speak, when they do it is to argue. DD loves to wind her brother up. He responds by shouting. He doesn’t even like sitting at the dinner table with her.

it makes me sad. They used to get along. Is this normal?

I was pretty similar and it got better when I was about 15/16. A lot better when he went off to uni. We get on so well now but I was the younger sibling (female) x

Not ideal but fairly normal.
This is why I get so confused by people saying they want to 'give' their child a sibling.
Surely you should have another child for yourself? The majority of siblings either don't care or actively despise one another. They essentially live in abusive relationships until they leave home.

And mine are fine together! But it is so plain to see how rare that is.

Yup, we're told not to get two dogs from the same litter because they will fight.

Maybe it should be the same with humans. Mine argue and compete a lot. It's a pain.

My 2 are 25 and 23 and still don't get on with each other.

Mine are 35, 34 and 31..the 31 gets on with her brothers separately, they don't like each other and barely communicate. .
I got on well with my brother as children. We barely speak/ see each other.
I really don't get the 'family' bullshit. I don't know any functional 'close' families. The most well-balanced ones seem to be the ones that have strong boundaries and don't live in each others pockets.

My two (boy and girl) fought, argued, competed with and moaned about each other throughout their late childhood and teenage years.

From their early twenties onwards they have been the best of friends and love each other dearly.

I read somewhere that siblings fight because they enjoy it, and I think that's often true.

As long as there was no outright bullying or physical fights I tended to let them sort it out between themselves, and only intervened when absolutely necessary.

We have exactly the same sex/age combination. There is quite a lot of antagonism and riling that happens. DD especially is a devil for the slow wind up, she is sneaky with it too - e.g. trips her brother up, whilst playing the complete innocent. DS on the other hand is a heart on sleeve guy, quick to anger, lashes out sometimes, but also quick to forgive.

One thing that gives me hope though is that they both share food. If one buys/ receives a treat they will always save some for the other. It is actually a lovely form of bonding, and I think bodes well for the future.