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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teen - vaping and school

13 replies

Teenadvice2 · 20/05/2023 19:11

What’s your thoughts on this? DS15 was seen vaping with a friend in town by his head of year. He told DS that he would contact us as it was a safeguarding issue. We have a good relationship with DS and encourage discussion- he occasionally vapes with this friend (uses his friend’s vape). He knows we don’t approve and we discuss the pros/ cons with him. Said teacher had now requested an in person meeting with us to discuss the incident. I think this is over stepping boundaries - it wasn’t in school & DS wasn’t in uniform. We’ve discussed it at home so it’s dealt with as far as I’m concerned. How would you respond to the head of year?

OP posts:

KnittedFox · 20/05/2023 19:22

I think it's good that he cares enough to mention it even though it was outside of school. He's underage to use a vape at the end of the day. Out of curiosity, would you think it was overstepping boundaries if he had been caught smoking or drinking?

On a side note what's with all the kids vaping?! They wouldn't chew nicotine gum or go around wearing nicotine patches. Its bizarre!

Funkyslippers · 20/05/2023 19:26

KnittedFox I agree, my DD is 14 and loads of kids in her year vape, apparently. I told her not to even try it as it's a waste of money. I was under the impression that it's for quitting smoking! But they probably see it as cool and safe.

In response to the OP, I would thank him for his concern but say you are already addressing the matter

Original poster

Teenadvice2 · 20/05/2023 21:14

Unfortunately it’s rife in school, they’re attracted by the sweet flavours. Thanks for the helpful advice.

OP posts:

hannahbanana17 · 01/06/2023 00:14

lin manuel miranda (this hip rapper, wrote a song called one dance) told them all that if they didn't vape they were losers and not hip!!!! cancel him or whatever the youth say

Funkyslippers · 01/06/2023 17:50

hannahbanana17 do you have a link to that? I'm a fan of his and can't find anything online, least of all a song called One Dance....

RudsyFarmer · 01/06/2023 17:55

From just reading your posts I’d assume you are fine with it. My suggestion if you have a conversation with the teacher is you act a little less cool and resigned and a little more proactively against it as a past time.

wildfirewonder · 01/06/2023 18:01

They're not overstepping boundaries, they have (perhaps wrongly) assumed you might be minded to try to prevent your child doing something known to be bad for their health. They are just passing on the info.

I'm surprised you are not more concerned, vaping is bad for lung health and nicotine addiction is a really negative thing.

Topseyt123 · 01/06/2023 18:07

They are probably just making sure you are aware of what is happening.

Just admit that you have made DS aware of your disapproval and are monitoring it.

Topseyt123 · 01/06/2023 18:13

Vaping is really intended as an aid to quitting smoking, or as an alternative to cigarettes for those who need to stop but find the addiction to nicotine too hard to kick (my 87 year old mother is in that category).

The problem now is that teenagers and even younger children are becoming hooked on nicotine through vapes and it is an issue in schools. My DD3 did it when she was in sixth form, though is thankfully off it now, having gone cold turkey during her first year as a uni student.

Iamnotthe1 · 01/06/2023 18:18

Vaping is really intended as an aid to quitting smoking, or as an alternative to cigarettes for those who need to stop but find the addiction to nicotine too hard to kick

That's what was said but vaping was really an active attempt to encourage younger people into an alternative version of smoking due to the massively declining customer base for traditional smoking. That's why there's a massive range of sweet flavours and the cleaner/less harmful messaging was pushed. It's financially motivated.

CaramelicedLatte · 01/06/2023 18:37

Just out of interest, what exactly do the posters suggest the OP actually does to stop her 15 year old son from vaping? Given that they are fonts of all knowledge. I bet you don't actually have 15yo DSs yourselves

Beyond discussing the health risks, (attempting to) restrict access to vapes/cash to buy vapes - what does one do?

School are overstepping. You've been informed, you've engaged with them. If they want to take their 'safeguarding' concern further, let them. Children's Services and the police have FAR more pressing matters to deal with.

EarthlyNightshade · 01/06/2023 18:47

According to my DS "half the school" are vaping. If I reduced his figure to 10%, could you expect the HOY to schedule meetings with 150 parents to discuss their child vaping in their own clothes in their local towns?
I think it was correct of the school to mention it to the parent. But scheduling a meeting really suggests they don't have enough other issues to be dealing with.
What other areas of parenting would you expect schools to get involved in?

Original poster

Teenadvice2 · 01/06/2023 22:10

For the record, I’m definitely not okay with it, but also realise that unfortunately this is a ‘normal’ thing for teenagers to experiment with. I can come down on DS like a ton of bricks, or encourage open discussion. Having tried the former very unsuccessfully with older DD, I find having more of an open approach to work better. Otherwise they do things but don’t feel they can talk to you.
Appreciate the responses, school agreed a face to face wasn’t needed.

OP posts:

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