My teen destroying my mental health

[ColaCube1305]

This year started off so well then went downhill rapidly. My 13yo son started wanting to leave school early or not go in at all. In March, he was so upset that I said I thought his anxiety that he diagnosed with at age 8 had come back. Since then there hasn't been one week where he's been in school full time.
Doctor didn't even really assess him just put him on beta blockers.

Last week he saw this amazing NLP therapist who confirmed what I had been thinking - he doesn't have deep rooted anxiety. It's all been a plot to stay off school and get on gaming every chance he gets.
The realisation of this is destroying my own mental health and my own anxiety is having an absolute field day. Before I believed this was my fault, somehow I'd made him this way cos of my own issues. Now I feel so angry and hurt that my own son, who has seen the state I can end up in, is twisting it to use to his advantage and I feel destroyed. I feel he hates me and just wants to keep picking away at me for his own gain.
We've taken away all his gaming and we're trying to get him to understand that none of its ever coming back if he doesn't return full time to school, he says he can't, now he's been bullied. I feel awful but I don't believe him, I feel like he's the boy who cried wolf.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again or if we'll ever get him back into school. I know we did a lot of this to ourselves thinking we had the gaming handled and now finding out we clearly didn't. I feel like such a failure

No there not autism is such a board spectrum. Another idiot trying to diagnose autism.

I have an ASD child and was a teacher for 26 years.

l know which pupils refused to come to school.
l know that gaming for ASD can be a form of stimming or calming as they don’t have to interact with actual people.
Anxiety is classic and is often the first presenting symptom in girls.

l was told all this by the psychologist who assessed my daughter.

So, yeah LOL that’s what the trained medical assessor told me.

@HadEnough2023 l guess you must be talking about the psychologist who assessed Dd. She told me this.

l saw the school refusers when l was teaching for 26 years.

But yeah l know fuck all. As does the trained medical Dr who told me this.

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, it sounds incredibly hard.

I would start by having a meeting with the school and being honest about the situation, work with them to makea plan for your boy's return.

If he really cannot cope at that school then maybe work with the school to find alternative provision.

I would also suggest you make him an appointment with a psychiatrist, go private if you can, as CAMHS has buckled under the weight of demand and is not fit for purpose.

lf he’s been out of school for 15 days the LEA have to send in a tutor by law l think.

I think it’s in here

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/getting-temporary-education-put-in-place

That very, very rarely happens if ever. It might be what should happen but practically speaking, it doesn't usually.

I think it does if you’re prepared to fight for it.

If gaming is one of the main symptoms of ASC then 98% of the boys at DS' school have ASC

I didn’t mean gaming as a stand alone obviously🙄