Page 2 | What time do your 15yo/year 10 have to be home?

Starintheshow · 2023-05-13T09:22:18+00:00

In the evening, if they're out locally in the park? Also while I'm asking do they have a bedtime schools night and weekends? Just to get an idea of what's normal.

bert3400 · 13/05/2023 14:21

My nearly 15 DS doesn't go out on school nights as non of his mates are out . But he's always out down the beach on a Friday and Saturday. He get back about 11pm on average. We live in a safe coastal town in Spain so maybe a little more relaxed than the UK. Never worry about him being out as it's super safe. On a school night lights out at 11pm

Whenisitsummer · 13/05/2023 14:22

9pm on a school night , 10pm during school holidays ( a little later if he messages to ask and lets me know where he is ) . Bed time is 10pm on a school night, whenever he wants on a Friday/ Saturday night as long as he isnt noisy.

VariationsonaTheme · 13/05/2023 14:22

My y10s aren’t/weren’t allowed to just wander or hang out in parks etc. If they’re actually going somewhere, doing something organised, then the time it needs to end is fairly flexible. Up to around 10.30 during the week, later on weekends.

HarrietJet · 13/05/2023 14:23

Starintheshow · 13/05/2023 10:59

Just playing sports with a couple of friends.

He doesn't usually go out much at all really, so that's why I'm a bit unsure/out of touch.

Apart from football training he only normally goes out occasionally during the day, either for a bike ride, for a walk up to the high street to get a McDonald's, or to an organised trip where he'll be getting picked up and dropped off.

It came out of the blue meeting a couple of friends at the park down the road. There was a bit of pushing their luck and they all ended up running home but I was a bit wushu washy on a time so want to be more prepared next time.

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They're not playing sports in the dark, op! You must know this.

Original poster

Starintheshow · 13/05/2023 14:24

Thanks all, a bit of a variation but it's great to get other peoples perspectives.

Although I agree that just hanging around can be sometimes problematic I'm not convinced that it's aimless to go out for a couple of hours playing football and basketball. It's fresh air, exercise, socialising, learning independence,

There has to be a balance.

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Original poster

Starintheshow · 13/05/2023 14:36

There's a bit of jumping to conclusions going on here.

To clarify, he wasn't out in the dark, he was playing sports, it's the first time he's ever been out on the evening that wasn't a pre organised trip.

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everythingisfigureoutabble · 13/05/2023 14:56

DS 13 nearly yr 8 curfew weekdays is 7:30 weekends is 8:30. Pretty standard across his friends. If he is at a friends he will let me know first and if I can pick him up he will stay later.

ChevyCamaro · 13/05/2023 15:16

I don't understand why teens would gather aimlessly in parks when exams are looming.

Seriously??? Er . To get away from parents and our incessant nagging about revision, to vape, to try and try and chat to girls/ boys, to potentially get a snog, to feel freedom and the wind in their hair..I could go on!
I don't love the idea of my kids drinking, vaping and snogging but honestly, compared to my generation do we not stifle our kids just a teeny bit?? It's natural to want to have some time just hanging out aimlessly, god, it's how I spent most of my time as a teen! ( And I turned out great 😃)

bert3400 · 13/05/2023 15:35

@ChevyCamaro completely agree, we need to find a healthy balance of giving them the independence and freedom to live. Parents moan that thier kids spend all thier time on computers in thier room but then get slated if allow thier teens out ....can't bloody win. I've 4 son 3 are now adults, well adjusted, independent adults ....my teen is a social butterfly and wants to be out all the time with his mates ....just like me when I was that age. We allow him to have that freedom...he will no doubt make mistakes and possibly wrong choices but we need to guide him but allow him to do make those choices .

BonjourCrisette · 13/05/2023 15:46

I don't mind DD going to the park with her friends. I'd rather she was in a park instead of a smoky pub as I was quite frequently at her age! She chats to her friends, (still) goes on the swings, gets a coffee or an ice cream from the café there. It all seems quite harmless to me. As for doing something constructive, she has plenty of that in her life. Not every moment needs to be devoted to improving activities. It's nice (and good for people) to have downtime.

Original poster

Starintheshow · 13/05/2023 19:55

ChevyCamaro · 13/05/2023 15:16

I don't understand why teens would gather aimlessly in parks when exams are looming.

Seriously??? Er . To get away from parents and our incessant nagging about revision, to vape, to try and try and chat to girls/ boys, to potentially get a snog, to feel freedom and the wind in their hair..I could go on!
I don't love the idea of my kids drinking, vaping and snogging but honestly, compared to my generation do we not stifle our kids just a teeny bit?? It's natural to want to have some time just hanging out aimlessly, god, it's how I spent most of my time as a teen! ( And I turned out great 😃)

I was going to say this tbh.

I spent my teens snogging in the park, eating chips, drinking the odd can of cider, aimlessly roaming around and later on sneaking into pubs and clubs underage.

I wouldn't want my tens doing all of that, but I've turned out great.

There's got to be a balance because I know my teen spends way too much time in his room. I'm quite happy if he wants to hang around outside for a bit.

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DistrictCommissioner · 14/05/2023 21:33

we live rurally so my teen needs to plan things with us so she can get home! But she’s started going for walks in the evening with friends who live nearby, & I say she has to be home by 10.

I know they are walking cos they take our dogs!