Anyones Teen dropped out of A Levels last minute?!

[Longingforthesummer]

DS has struggled for a couple of years now. His mental health has taken a battering, 2 very serious illnesses in the family to cope with too and today college has decided not to enter him into his 2 x AL's. Or he could do one of them but it's not his strongest subject and I think he has now switched off.

He feels the pressure is now off him and says he's not too bothered and it feels a relief. He doesn't want me to feel disappointed he says.

Im not sure how I feel. Overall I just want him to feel ok, not let this affect him or tip him over the edge. I agree this will take the pressure off him alot.

The other side I feel a bit gutted for him as a couple of AL's behind him may help him in the future, although he is a very clever, confident and likable kid and that would carry him in interviews etc. and I know pieces of paper shouldnt define who you are etc.

Anyone else in the same position.

Would he not be better to turn up on no revision and just give the exams a try? Nothing to lose at this stage, surely? What reason have the school given for not entering him for the ALs?

He sounds like he's got some good qualities that will help him in interview but he's got to get the interview first, and having a gap on his CV and no Level 3 qualifications may make it hard for him to get there. Does he have any idea what he wants to do next? I hope the school are going to more help than 'we're withdrawing you from A levels, the end'.

Gosh, I never thought of the gap in his CV 🙁
He plays a pro sport and that has taken alot of his time up as well - I think we all thought he could manage both but with the stuff that's also happened inbetween it's been a struggle - a few years ago I think I would have thought differently. But after seeing him at his lowest, I just need him to have no stress or pressure or feeling a failure. Yes school will support and he has a meeting with the careers, apprenticeship person who is very good and supportive

I can relate to this.

I fought to have them take the exams as 'something is better than nothing' after 2 years of study (during the covid lockdown era) - school wasn't keen as it would negatively affect their results.

3 very low graded passes - but it at least shows the course was studied I suppose

They are saying one of his subjects - the coursework isnt good enough and there's no time to correct and send in. The college is very much results led and would rather students retake a year or not sit them. For him to say it's a relief is making me think it's best. I just dont want him to get to that low point again.

Also I remember when I started a college course and dropped out halfway through - the disappointment on my parents faces and their lack of support - they didnt know how to guide me - always stuck with me. That was 40 years ago and I still remember it

School may well prefer he doesn’t sit (and bring school results didn’t), but this isn’t necessarily in his best interests.

Do you think if school offered for him to resit his year 13 he would take it? That would give him from now until September to take the pressure off. Personally I think if that was possible, even just the idea of it, it would be what I would be steering him towards. The only reason I say it is due to the sheer number of students who now do A levels so maybe trying to give it his best shot next year would be better than nothing. Just thinking future forward and getting something for the 2 years he has currently invested in himself. Funding for post 16 education covers them until 19, so 3 years at A level or the equivalent.

I would just tell him that you understand how overwhelming it must have been this last 2 years with everything going on, you only want the absolute best for him so take this time now to address his mental health and see where September finds him. If by then it is evident this isn't going to work then go to plan B. He doesn't have to have his life figured out at this point.

My friend's son failed year 12 twice, worked on a zero hours contract for a few years stacking shelves in a retail place. Was surrounded by older chaps who took him under their wing, gave him some good life advice, the same thing his parents had but you know how teens can be. He landed a great job aged 24 and is doing incredibly well, been promoted, more money, more responsibility. My friend called it his meander, yes some people take the straight line route, he meandered.

Dont think he will resit next year. Think he's had enough.

I know there's no way my ds would be prepared to go back to school next year, as we've talked through all the possible outcomes of his A levels already. Understandable at 18 to be done with school life. But there are alternatives, or he could think about an apprenticeship?

Yes agree. Gone in for last day and to chat to head of college. It will wprk put right at some point whatever he does Im sure in tbe future. Im just worried he sinks into a huge depression Im trying to voice support etc as I previously mentioned my parents faces of disappointment when I dropped out has stuck with me for years, I went onto have a successful career.

@Longingforthesummer I hope my story gives you a positive perspective -

my Dd was due to sit her A-levels in 2021. However 2019/2020 saw her develop anorexia and she was extremely ill and out of school a great deal - an entire year passed without her reading or writing a word. We off rolled her and once she was in recovery she restarted year 12 - albeit with people who were now 2yrs younger than her. Her mental health was still very fragile and it was evident that she wasn't able to work at the level she had before. This put additional pressure on her (and was therefore another opportunity for the anorexia to take back control).She proposed leaving school and after initial shock (I suppose at the sense of life not working out how is envisioned) we agreed.

She's getting the space and time to embed recovery, to work on her mental health. She works part time and is doing an online course at her own pace.

She'll get to the right place in life for her but perhaps via a different route - and that's fine.

I hope it works out for your DS too. As an aside many of DD's friends who went off to university had changed unis, restarted etc - it feels like a higher proportion than you'd expect so I put it down to one of the cluster of impacts of covid.

What are his plans instead?

the push for A levels isn’t alway the best choice for student, both mine were pushed that way although they were clearly not academic, they’ve both got decent careers

ive worked in jobs with people with A levels and degrees that actually aren’t stepping stones on the career ladder and you don’t need a degree or A level to complete the job. Yet they have £££ of debt from being a student 🤷‍♀️

education for the sake of it isn’t worthwhile

Could he apply for a different course or apprenticeship, or maybe a job, or a year to try something different?

My DS did this. He said he'd just had enough.
He was in a good sixth form college and his teachers were horrified and did their best to dissuade him.
Anyway, he left, and found that working at minimum wage wasn't great either.
It took a year, but he finally told us that he'd been wrong.
He went to a college and did his A levels, then went to university and got his B.A. in history.
He accepts that he shouldn't have abandoned school but there was nothing we could have done to change his mind.

Reply to 'longing for the summer' 11.05.2023. Re:Off-Rolling. We have ditto situation. New pupil to a private fee-paying school lower sixth form, three A levels. Erin Smart of Irwin Mitchell quote:"If pupils are enrolled on a sixth-form course then they can’t be removed halfway through for academic reasons. It’s just completely and utterly unlawful.”
We found the league tables to be inaccurate (a fix) and the threat of off-rolling began in week three. We were not notified in advance we would be treated like this. At the end of the first term we discovered that if the pupils failed their January exams and subsequent May exam then they would be made to repeat a year or make alternative arrangements. Be careful in relation to Fees in Lieu because they'll say they are entitled to keep your money. It had the same impact of totally demoralising the student.

My DD has dropped out last week. She was feeling the pressure and hated the subject and really was doing well. She also feels the immense relief and has increased her part time job hours to full time and is going to take a year to think about what she would like to do, whether that's a fast track uni course or apprenticeship - she has zero clue so I don't think it's going to harm her to take a year out and think about it and it should also help her mental health

Sorry that should have said wasnt* doing well