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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How can i help my 13yr old

2 replies

Chefwithnolifeds · 09/05/2023 22:13

How can I help my 13 year old?

Tonight has been...traumatic.
We are currently in temp housing, barely know the elderly neighbours both sides.. this morning I was speaking to the elderly gentleman an he was talking about our garden (dandelion city) he's a very proud gardener with a lovely garden, an he mentioned about the dandelions, I explained we had done 40mins the other day when the weather was nice..but due to crappy weather and work hadn't managed much more..but we're hoping to this weekend.

Long story short, he's well known for coming out with the weed burner and doing it himself. Even though we had said we would sort it...he still came round.

It's all so..blurry, but I just remember my son coming down saying he had collapsed outside, both myself an husband went running out, I shouted for the husband to 999 whilst I tried to get a response, no breathing, discolouration etc had to perform cpr with neighbours daughter from the other side until paramedics turned up.

During all this, we were unaware our 13yr old was watching from the window...there was nothing we could do to protect him from this, if he hadn't have noticed it could have been a totally different story.

How can I help my son? He's tearful and in shock.

I've read routine needs to be kept, talk when he needs to, reassure ect and be open and honest...I'll be informing his school tomorrow so they can assist and obviously call us.

We think the gentleman had a heart attack, we lost my mum 6 years ago to a heart attack an I know my son is thinking about this...
Family were great full we were there, as the house has been empty a while, an at least someone was here when he collapsed...
..I'm still dealing with the guilt of not sorting the garden sooner..

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/05/2023 22:18

Please don’t feel guilty. This could have happened when he was working alone in his own garden. In that case no one would have known and he wouldn’t have had such prompt treatment.
Bless you all. Your son may need to talk to process this. It’s normal to feel shocked and upset. Don’t forget medical professionals are trained to handle situations like this. He is in the best hands.

Chefwithnolifeds · 09/05/2023 22:30

Thank you

I've tried to explain to my son that his noticing could have possibly saved this gentleman's life (we don't know the outcome yet...and don't want to be intrusive)

Husband and I have spoken in detail, an he said pretty much the same thing.. it could have been a different outcome if the house was empty.

I'm just so concerned, we are already waiting on cahms due to behaviour issues and an assessment...I'm just scared how seeing this could affect him.

OP posts:
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