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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Discord app

13 replies

Acorn51 · 09/05/2023 21:52

AIBU to ban my 17 year old from having discord? Apparently she downloaded it so that she could join a book group and get book recommendations - she got the link from tiktok.

OP posts:
Cosycover · 09/05/2023 21:54

Why? What's your reasons for banning a 17 year old from Discord?

RenegadeMasterx · 09/05/2023 21:58

If it's just for that then it's ok. But discord can get quite dark/gross and there has been cases of grooming on it. Not unreasonable to be concerned

Original poster
Acorn51 · 09/05/2023 22:21

Cosycover · 09/05/2023 21:54

Why? What's your reasons for banning a 17 year old from Discord?

I just have heard bad things about it. Moreover the book group shares whole e books for free which can’t be right. And what sorts of books? But I do realise that my daughter is sensible and does love reading …she is taking English A level.

I just don’t want her to come across anything I wouldn’t want her too. In the past she suffered anxiety and self-harmed so I guess I just feel jittery.

OP posts:
peachespeachespeaches · 09/05/2023 22:26

Presumably you're not asking her to delete/banning her from TikTok which is arguably the same.

She's 17, you're closing the stable door after the horse has bolted.

Original poster
Acorn51 · 09/05/2023 22:41

peachespeachespeaches · 09/05/2023 22:26

Presumably you're not asking her to delete/banning her from TikTok which is arguably the same.

She's 17, you're closing the stable door after the horse has bolted.

I think you are right!

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 09/05/2023 22:47

I think all apps/ social media apps can be damaging but I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s any more harmful than tik tok.
At 17, she’s almost an adult and will be wanting to be more independent.
Like most apps, discord has a messaging section so could just ask her to be open with who she speaks to online.

PlatinumBrunette · 09/05/2023 22:51

Discord isn’t the dark web 😁 I’m on discord and I’m nearly 60!

It’s nothing like TikTok - which can be dodgy. Discord is just a bunch of groups about interests. It sort of started as a gaming chat platform. Businesses use it.

stinkingbishop · 09/05/2023 22:57

I've just downloaded it to be in a history discussion group...As people have said, it's like anything on the Internet. The issue isn't the platform itself, it's the people who use it and what they post. Just like there are hilarious and handy and informative pieces on TikTok or Reddit, but also really dark corners. Like a town, in a way. It's making sure she has the awareness, self-esteem, and critical thinking to avoid that. If she's the kind of young woman who wants to join online book clubs, I think that's a very good sign that she has some of those skills!

Branchingout2000 · 09/05/2023 23:14

How do you ban a 17 year old from anything?

Original poster
Acorn51 · 09/05/2023 23:16

Thank you everyone! That was all really helpful. Much appreciate the replies 🥰

OP posts:
caringcarer · 09/05/2023 23:42

TikTok is far more dodgy than Disord. My DS 17 goes on it for a Chess group. I hear him going on about openings and end games. I don't have a problem with it. DS is not allowed on TikTok though.

pinkgown · 10/05/2023 00:10

I play Dungeons and Dragons on Discord. It's used a lot by gamers.

I expect there are dodgy groups on it, just as with other such platforms, but I reckon the vast majority of users are above board.

(nb. I am an adult - I've been playing D&D since the 1970s...)

QueenSmartypants · 10/05/2023 00:13

Honestly, if your daughter has downloaded it for the purposes of books, I'm not sure you need to worry unnecessarily

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