Spending money

[Connieconsider]

Do your teens spend their own money when they meet with friends? For example including food, travel etc or do you give them extra and they use their own money for treats?
DD15 has a good amount of savings she has collected over the years, often spending it on make up and clothes. I feel awful as I should be buying her clothes but she comes home with a bag full of outfits I wouldn’t usually be happy to buy. I of course buy her essentials.
Im really struggling financially at the moment and can barely stretch to bills. I don’t want to ruin DD social life so she often takes money from her box to get lunch while out with friends. The guilt and shame I feel really hurts. When I do have the money I replace it in secret, but it feels wrong that she is spending her own money on essentials and basics I should provide and I now owe her £80.
She is completely fine with it and it gives her a sense of responsibility, but even my own parents gave me money to meet friends and get lunch (and they were abusive and now NC) so it feels very wrong to me.
How do you parents deal with the money side of your teens?

I totally understand as it’s more about providing money for the bear essentials like food and fares.

It won’t hurt her it really won’t and bless her. She’s obviously very aware of your circumstances and acting accordingly.

I would be more concerned if she was entitled and lazy and expected you to throw £20++ at her every time she goes out, only to waste it on vapes as so many do these days.

You should be very proud of her. She knows how to stand on her own two feet 💐

DD is 16 and gets pocket money. She often uses it to buy clothes, books, toileteries and visits to coffee shops.

If she is out for lunch I do give her some money but I know they normally go for a panini or similar, so maybe £5-10, but she also pays sometimes with her own.

I think your DD is mature enough to realise what is going on and it is a healthy way to learn to budget and prioritise.