Teens and relationships

[Isthisreallytrue12]

From reading posts on here, it seems that most parents know if their son /daughter is having sex. I’m not sure my teen would tell me what stage his relationship has got to (he’s 17)! Should I be asking? Any thoughts?

DD is 17. I would certainly not ask her, it's her business. We've talked about healthy relationships and I like to think she's able to talk to me about anything she wants, but her relationship now is private and not for me to pry into.

DD (17) told me when she started having sex, and later asked for some assistance after a terrible initial GP appointment to talk about contraception. So I know it's happening, but while I'm sure she gossips about the actual sex with her friends she absolutely doesn't share details with me! She did once discuss something that had made her uncomfortable and I talked with her about boundaries and her right to have them. I also once drove her friend to get the MAP as sadly her friend couldn't talk to her mum about it and time was running out to get to the clinic. I'd rather be the mum they talk to....

I think form talking to my friends with daughters that this is all pretty normal.

It's their business and I wouldn't ask unless there was any cause for concern. DD is 17 and she told me, but tbh I would have found out anyway from emptying the bins, and accidentally overhearing things (before retreating hurriedly to preserve their privacy!) 😳Her view was that parental support is important (she was 16 at the time) and she thought it was better we knew beforehand rather than found out after, with the shock/arguments that could ensue (not for us, but has happened like that for some of her friends). But it's a personal choice and very much depends on the nature of your relationship, ours was already quite open about this sort of thing.

Also DD's BF told her he wouldn't be able to talk to his parents about it and friends with sons of this age say they are told very little, so maybe girls are more communicative than boys

I think it depends on what sort of relationship you have nurtured up to the point of sex. My DS at 16 came and told me he and his GF were ready, although she hadn’t told her parents. We have always tried to be open and supportive of DC’s lives from sports, friendship issues to alcohol at parties. So yes, I absolutely would ask but I suspect, like DS, my DD will talk to me first.