Give me your best tactics for dealing with teens!

[Rhubarb]

I'm being assessed at work tomorrow, I'm a Learning Support Assistant at a Secondary School and I deal not just with children who have special needs, but also those with behavioural problems.

The age range is usually 14-15.

I'm just brain-storming ideas around, we do have set ways of doing things but they are not always effective for every situation. So, what would your tactic be for the following situations:

You approach a boy who is chatting and not working, as he sees you approach he yells "GO AWAY" - what is your reaction?

A boy is texting on his phone, you ask him to put it away and he refuses, so you threaten him with detention and he just laughs.

A boy refuses to do any work and when you go to talk to him, he point blank refuses to look at you or even acknowledge that you are there - perhaps even chatting over you with another boy.

Any input much appreciated!

Going for a bath - please reply!

God Rhubarb - I honestly wish I knew - and as the mum of teens and a Youth Court JP I'm not easily stumped, so really want to see what advice you are given!!! Are these RL scenarios that you have experienced or role play that you think you'll be tested on?

Good luck btw....

Restorative Justice is a big thing with us. (I'm a SENCO). Works on the principle of approaching the situation in a certain way - there's a questioning technique whereby you don't ask 'Why did you....?' It's all based on getting the student to see the other person's perspective eg 'How do you think X felt when you said....?'
For major misdemeanors there's a formal meeting set up between the people involved and the idea is to repair the relationship as well as provide an appropriate sanction.

I don't suppose a clip round the ear would fit the bill Rhubarb ? I do OK with my own teens but wouldn't have a clue where to start in an educational environment.

You must have the patience of a saint TBH.

You approach a boy who is chatting and not working, as he sees you approach he yells "GO AWAY" - what is your reaction?

i would say no and sit down and annoy him

A boy is texting on his phone, you ask him to put it away and he refuses, so you threaten him with detention and he just laughs.

give him detention

A boy refuses to do any work and when you go to talk to him, he point blank refuses to look at you or even acknowledge that you are there - perhaps even chatting over you with another boy.

i would sit next to him, in silence until he has to acknowlege you. if he doesn't - detention.

I've got a 21 year old and a 16 year old and I find that being sad and disappointed works better than nagging or anger. Am liking Alfie's approach though. Sounds the way to go.

Thanks.

These are the most difficult situations I come across where our tactics just don't work. The boy who yells GO AWAY will then get very confrontational if I sit next to him, indeed he will even get physical, so I was looking for a way to deal with that.

The mobile phone thing, I usually do give detentions but they never show up and I wondered if anyone else has a tactic for getting them to listen rather than it escalating.

And the ignoring thing, well that one I find particularly difficult. Sitting there until they take note might not be a bad idea. I've also thought of counting down from 20 and at the end of it I write the first sanction down on a piece of paper, then start counting again and so on.

if he gets physical i'd move away and tell him i was only being friendly, and i would be persistently annoying

can you take the mobile away until end of leson

Take the mobile away? I can't by force no, they'd complain about me.

Part of my job is supposed to be positive, detach the child from the behaviour, avoid confrontations, minimise disruption to the class etc. Very difficult when faced with certain situations.

Basically I have to diffuse potential problems, not add to them.

I like your idea with the ignoring thing though - thanks!

it's hard, i'd tell him, well he can talk on the mobile all he like during class, the rest of the class will suffer and be left behind in the real world and it would be all his fault.

at DD's school there is a 'warning system

in your first situation he would get a 'level 1' the teacher teacher tells the child and writes his name on the board

i he continues he gets a level 2 which is a detention

and if still - get level 3 - remove from class - detention on a friday which is for an hour

in the hour the child then writes the "ready steady go" system down

re: phone
tell child to give you the phone - if he does you tell him you get it at the end of the lesson

if he doesn't

instant level 3 - phone took away by a more senior member of staff which is then took away until friday
you last situation

leel 1,2, then 3.

Hmmm. Picture a boy, whose parents don't encourage him or particularly want him to go to school, he likes to play up because it gives him attention in class and a bit of 'cred', he likes to flout the rules, they like to push the teachers as far as they can, they don't want to work, not interested, they're going to work on the farm anyway so what do they need qualifications for?

Times that 15yo boy by 15 and you've got on lower set English class for which I do general support.

The stricter you are with them the more they seem to rebel, the more confrontational they get and of course they get the class attention, which is ultimately what they want.

I don't have too much authority, that's up to the teacher. I'm there to diffuse, keep disruption to a minimal yet not let them get away with anything. It's a tricky balance.

also asked dd again re TA i class and who disciplins

dd says that the teacher disciplins - not the TA

maybe this assessment will be a good thing.

becuase it sounds tome like the school are taking the piss and if you arnt geting support enough from the existing members of stagg maybe this will be flagged

lets hope that some shitty teachers actually get plled for some incompetant teaching rather than blae the TA and the 'thick kid' causing trouble and upsetting everyone

i work with children and i'm probably too laid back with theh, but i would try to encourage talk, find a common interest you could start a conversation with them. stricness doesn't work in the long run, makes held back adults.

Ah but southeastra, I've been criticised for not being strict enough and for talking to them rather than getting them to do their work.

So the way I do it is to stay in the background, take my cues from the teacher a lot, but every teacher is different so I find a way of working with them that they're happy with.

I can give consequences, like custy's system, the only thing I can't do is to Red Card them - that is send them out of that lesson entirely so that they spend the rest of that school day in isolation.

We are told not to let them off with anything, but to diffuse rather than confront, tactical ignoring at times, positive speaking, sense of humour. I'm supposed to have a response for every type of situation I may find myself in. They'll be looking to see that I use those tactics tomorrow. I've only been in the job since Sept however and don't have their many years of experience, nor did I have any training.

So all I can do is my best.

One teacher has told me that she would like me to be stricter and not to talk to them, others like to be responsible for the discipline themselves, just using me as backup. I'm suppose to use every trick in the book before I resort to consequences - but I don't know every trick in the book.

i'm doing an nvq in playwork - we have to listen to the children. i've worked with so many headteahers that have told me i need to keep the class quiter, but why. i'm not convinced that being strict works in a class

they walk all over me though

There's a fine balance, particularly with teens.

I'm a TA (not in a secondary, thank goodness, from what you are saying) and I am quite strict. I use the same sanctions that I hear the teacher using, but will 'threaten' them with the teacher if they do not respond to my request.

Think about asking once nicely, then again firmly, then have your consequences ready.

You could say 'if you choose not to stop texting you are choosing to lose your class the privilege of xxx,' or an individual privilege if there is such a thing?

the playwork principle i work with 5 to 12 year olds says i have to let them sort it out themselves, so i do.

i can' get involved with the fights, kids will work it out themselves.

The "choosing" thing is quite good, I use that quite a lot! "if you choose to use that mobile phone then you are choosing the first sanction".

Trouble is, kids have heard it all before and know all the tricks before I do!

I work as a teacher in a difficult secondary school.

1. Always remain calm.

2. Ask for what you want once

3. Move away and give time for the pupil to respond. It allows them to feel that they are in control.

4. If the request is not met then return and request the action again and this time state the consequence of not doing what you have asked (detention etc). Move away and give a little time for the pupil to make a choice.

5. If the situation continues then you repeat your request, reminding them of the consequence. Tell them it is their choice as to what they do but the there will be a consequence if they don't do as you have asked.

6. Issue the consequence. Leave it there for now.

The key to this is that you must do as you have said. If you issue a detention follow it up. If they don't show then go to the teacher and get their support. If they still don't show then I would call their parents. The kids have to know that you mean what you say. Then eventually they know that when you ask for something to be done then you expect it to happen.

Other strategies have to be used aswell. Sometimes asking a pupil to step outside so that you can talk to them away from their peers can do the trick as often they dig their heels in so that they don't lose face. Sometime a really quiet word. Sometimes moving the pupils away from a difficult pupil.

I could go on. It takes time to build up your various strategies. But the main thing, always do as you say. Certainty is really important...good luck [wink}