To bother trying to enforce this?

[Shhhhhhhhhhhhnow]

DS is 16 and basically refusing to do much in the way of revision for his GCSEs , despite every avenue explored to encourage him to do so

He will be lucky to scrape the grades he requires to do the course he wants to at a college 8 miles down the road

Anyway, we are crossing fingers that he does and the course have accepted him conditionally so that's all good

Later today is a taster session at his potential new college. It's just one hour long between 4-5pm and I'll take him there and wait for the hour. It's a raster lesson where he can meet his teacher and his new classmates

He's decided this morning he won't go. His reasons? ' it's not compulsory, I can't be bothered, I'm not going to go'

Now I can't physically manhandle him there of course but honestly, I really want him to go for obvious reasons.

It's just laziness why he won't go. He's not anxious or anything like that

So .. what to do? Ignore it? Tell him it's his decision? Try and force it?

What would you do?

*taster

And he is just lazy btw. Nothing more at play here.

It's just frustrating because I want him to do well (of course) but he's just so .... teenage.

He's encouraged a lot, provided with everything he needs, he's not a bad kid or off the rails.

He just won't do anything remotely academic if he doesn't have to

So I'm really irritated but I'm veering with giving it another go to get him there when I get him from school
And if he refused again just say ' well this is your choice and any consequences are ones you've chosen' and then just leave it at thayb

It's sooo frustrating isn't it OP? You can't make him go, but for something like this I would try mild bribery. Would a McDonalds on the way home help?

Turn off the wifi and lock the fridge?

Oh and decide to do a deep clean of the house, so he can help with that. Strip his bed, pull out the wardrobe to hoover behind and open all the windows (heating off).

@HowManySunflowers thanks for the reply. And yep, you'd think I was trying to get him to do something that was actually detrimental to him - not something that would mean he'd have met his teacher, would know where he was going and would have met his classmates

Plus it's one bloody hour

Yeah I'll try the McDonald's thing. May work, may not as he only had one on Sunday!

I'll also try and spit of psychology and say ' let's just go and you can always leave after 5 minutes if you want to' (he wouldn't so quite safe in this )

But yes - it's just so frustrating

@SeaToSki good ideas but wouldn't work here - plus it creates more work for me!

I've always found that punishments not concerned to the 'crime' just make matters worse

What will he do instead? Sit in his room gaming/watching Tv?

@PineappleLatte it's only an hour so not too onerous for him you'd think but I'd say he would probably watch tik tok , he may kick a ball about, he may watch a revision video (maybe!) , he'd eat a snack or two.

Does he actually want to do the course? His lack of interest in the taster session would rather indicate not.

I'd be tempted to leave it (on the basis there may be harder battles to come). Plenty of students go to taster sessions and they are of variable use.

@redskylight yes it's a course he's chosen and he wants to do it. He wasn't pushed to it at all

He just quite literally can't be bothered if he doesn't have to go

(There's also the possibility that if you say "ok I'm going to assume you're not going" and take yourself off and do something else, he may suddenly develop a keen interest in actually going).

@redskylight trouble is, I need him to be good to go straight from school as it's 8 miles away and we need to go straight there

I think I'll give it a go with mild bribery when I pick him up and if he refuses, I'll have to bite my tongue and just say well that's your decision

You're picking him up from school anyway?

Just drive there instead of home 😂

@travelingtortoise yep. Intend to just head off in the direction and will see how adamant he is he won't go!

You can take a house to water....

If he does get into college what is the plan then?

My DS also about to sit GCSEs is likely to fail them all. He's been told college or job. I won't be keeping him to sit on his xbox all day.