17 and driving friends around

[grabbygravy]

My DD2 is 16 and is about to sit her exams. She’ll be 17 in November and the topic of driving has already come up. Seeing news recently of three teens passing in an RTC and one being critically injured has really upset me.

Does anyone here ask their DC to not take too many passengers? I am not sure what car we will be looking to purchase. For my peace of mind I would really like a larger car for her. Any suggestions welcome but I will make a separate thread when the time comes.

I accept that she will need to use country roads because of where we live but the recent news has really hit home for me. A girl in the year above me at school passed in similar circumstances as well in the car of a new driver when we were younger.

Particularly for rural families, where realistically DC will need to drive to get around/work and see their friends. I won’t let her drive alone until I’m certain of her safety but it’s that risk of her being egged on by mates, taking shortcuts. It scares me so much - I wish we could move to a city if I’m being honest.

@FrenchandSaunders I have DSs and DDs and feel the same about both. They are also passengers in cars driven by both sexes!

@Nimbostratus100 I have no idea how you think sixth forms can enforce "rules" like that.

We do the best we can, obviously.

My DS passed his test a couple of weeks after his 17th birthday and was taking some of his mates to college from then. He's got his own policy with Marmalade which comes with a black box. Every journey is rated on speed, braking etc. Thought it was a pain to begin with but I'm glad now as he has to drive very carefully. He got a couple of negative reviews early on because he drives through country lanes but has learned to adapt.

@Nimbostratus100 the biggest single killer of teenage girls in our country is the driving of teenage boys

Could you link to evidence of this claim please.

@FrenchandSaunders @lailamaria

Why are you/your police friend anti black
Box please? I'd like to understand this further as I can only see positives for more controlled driving?

I did this with all mine. They were allowed to drive my car, but if I found out they had any passengers in the first six months, I would take them off the insurance.

We live in a very rural area, lots of single track roads. I would say the most important thing is loads of practice, so everywhere you go they drive. Lessons are simply not enough. Regarding lifts, i think it is really difficult as they may well do it without you knowing. If they have passed their test you have to trust them. Ds had 2 accidents in his first couple of years, first going down a country lane too fast and swerved and hit a hedge, second he aquaplaned and crashed. He was alone both times and no injuries. Both of these were due to not understanding the road conditions.

@Nimbostratus100 How is that rule enforced? I remember when DS was in 6th form he told me he'd had McDonald's for lunch. The nearest McDonald's was 8 miles away. A group of them had gone in a mate's car (fellow student) at lunchtime. I was far from impressed. And even less so the day he had to borrow our car for college and he did the 'McDonald's run' as he felt it was his turn. A couple of years earlier a student at another college locally had been killed in a crash doing the McDonald's run at lunchtime. But I don't see how the college can police this. Students don't/can't park their cars on college premises.

Our local 6th form college has student parking that they pay for. There’s no way the college gets involved in who goes in what car though.

I think it all depends on your child. My daughter is 19 had a licence a year now.
She has a black box in no claims and her score on the app is about 97%.
She does take friends out but won't be pressured into doing things. ( they wanted her to drive to London next week and we are in the north west). Then my son passed his test in January got a car had it 2 months and insurance was cancelled. He had done 8000 miles in 2 months he was all over with his friends. Going Liverpool which is about 35 miles away just to get a McDonald's.
I can't honestly say I am glad he doesn't have a car now two days before insurance was up his brakes went. He still has the car wants to get in fixed but insurance premiums have gone crazy compared to what he was paying so very unlikely.
I think the black box is there to help them keep with good habits it's not a bad thing.

Sal

Both my dc18 & DC17 now drive & both have a polo each (both insurance group 4).

They've got black boxes which have really helped as they cant speed, have to drive smoothly etc. They have both taken passengers from when they passed & sometimes have a car full.

They are also limited for the amount of mileage they can do in year as it effects the price of their insurance. DC17 has more miles on their insurance as they work further away.

I've been really impressed with them & their driving as they have to drive sensibly which will cut down liklihood if accidents rather than limiting passengers.

Also, their friends drive too & also have black boxes so know the score wirh sensible driving.

Check out the insurance group for any car they will drive, anything over a 4/5 will massively effect their insurance premium

mainly because it's too reactive and creates more anxiety around driving which then leads to possibly more accidents

Sadly RTAs are one of the most common causes of death in teens. That's a fact. It'S especially so in rural areas / country roads.

Read them the riot act about drinking, driving and overloading the car. Or buy them a Smart Car two seater so they can't be the one who drives everyone around.

@Tradescantia252 Smart cars always look like a danger in themselves!

My dd passed her test relatively recently.

she actually prefers having a friend or two with her, it’s an extra set of eyes, a navigator, and someone to hold her phone so she doesn’t automatically check it if it pings when driving.

a couple of times when she’s been on new roads or taken a wrong turn a friend to set up the satnav or look up the route has saved a lot of stress.

My teens are 16 and 13 and won't need to learn to drive for a while but they have been told it is an absolute no to getting into cars with friends. It's all fine until it isn't. I'm in Ireland and there are just too many young lives lost. Only a few weeks ago 2 very young teens were killed and 2 injured in an accident not far from us. That prompted a big long talk with my kids about it.

I would be horrified if my kids were being used as an extra set of eyes or to hold a phone for someone because they had so little faith in their own ability to drive safely. Just no.

I think it depends on the child. DS passed on his 4th attempt, he drove his mates around but because getting his license didn't come easy he wasn't prepared to risk it for his mates. He also had a black box and I couldn't see his journeys and scores .

When I was in 6th form we had this very shocking assembly about road safely with a police officer and a person who now couldn’t walk after a RTA. It was honestly harrowing but very effective with a load of teenagers about to learn to drive. I hope they still do things like this!

Ds3 plans to take a block of lessons in the summer when he turns 17. I’d actually rather he was driving himself than a passenger with some of his friends as he’s reasonably sensible. He currently works two days after school and has to start at 5pm because of the bus times. With the car he will be able to start at 4pm and I know he will want to drive his friends that work with him from school to work and possibly drop them home afterwards. I’m ok with that as fortunately it’s from one side of town to the other and not country or fast roads.

I worry most about them hitting cyclists. I’ve had a couple of near misses recently. No lights, all black clothes etc.

I have to admit I've been so fixated on what their rules will be as drivers I hadn't even considered them as passengers, that's a whole other level of anxiety 🙈 eldest is a September baby so hopefully he will be one of the first and will be satisfied driving himself!!

My daughter was involved in an accident last highly. Car driven by her friend with two other friends inside. They are all fine some cuts and bruises etc but we're so lucky it wasn't worse. Getting that phone call was my worst nightmare and I keep replaying it

night

@newjobnewstartihope I’m glad it wasn’t worse but I’m sure they will all be shaken up, not to mention the parents. I often think the baby and toddler stages were the easiest. Ds2 sits his test on Saturday. Something else to add to my list of worries.

Absolutely agree- the baby and toddler years are a breeze in comparison