Parent anxiety - giving them more freedom

[jabal]

Hi everyone

I feel so anxious all of the time about giving my son more freedom. I overthink everything and every possible scenario and I try to talk to him to make him aware as I feel like this is the only control I have but then I worry that I scare him or make him worry. I know in reality I can control everything but each time he wants to go out with friend I get anxious and I just no my anxiety is going to get worse as he gets older - does anyone else have this? Is there anything that helps

The anxiety should lessen over time. You really should not be dumping your fears on your child. I think you should consider seeking therapy for your anxiety. It will do you good to have someone to talk to as you cannot use your child as a therapist.

Don't load him with your anxieties - you need another avenue to express those - but do nurture a close relationship with him. Then if he finds himself in difficulty he can tell you without fearing your response. Hopefully that closeness will reassure you too. He has to become independent in the safest way possible and a good relationship with you will help him do that.

I was always so anxious, I take medication now! But things that help is we are all on life 360, we can see where each other are, I rarely use it to track them but they track us to see if we are near for a lift!
Also family group WhatsApp, we have a code word that if u text, someone else, whoever see it first will call and invent an emergency. It can be if they find themselves in a situation that they are uncomfortable with and want to leave without explanation.
I also just chat on the phone to them if they are walking somewhere eg to a friends and they are alone.
You just have to teach them to be aware of their surroundings and not looking down at theirs phones all the time.
I also tell them that of they are behaving inappropriately and they are splashed all over Facebook then they are grounded, like forever haha

It will get easier though, you have to learn to accept they do grow up ( so hard to do) you will be worrying about them forever, try and learn to manage the worry

your fears aren't their problem, if you don't get control this will reflect on your child in the long run i'm sorry

How old is he?