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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage drinking and irresponsible parenting

24 replies

delightfuldaisy19 · 24/04/2023 19:29

After some advice - whether to interfere or mind my own business.

My 14 year old ds (Year 10) has a friend from primary school and his house has become the teenage party house in our area. His mum is a single parent, wealthy, liberal and bit bonkers. Anyway my ds and his other friends have told me that the mum takes orders for vapes/alcohol and then goes and buys them for all of the kids (ages 14-16). Apparently it's getting a bit out of hand with 20-30 kids going most weekends, girls unconscious and being sick, kids filming each other when they are in a state and sexual activity happening. My ds and his friends have backed off and stopped going round (thank goodness) as it's all been a bit too much.

I appreciate that teenagers getting drunk etc is all within the realms of normal teenage behaviour - at least for some but not actively facilitated by a parent.

I don't know what to do, do I tell her that her house and behaviour is the talk of the local area, do I contact school or do I just mind my own business?

OP posts:
Dodgeitornot · 24/04/2023 19:31

Why are you reporting this here and not to social services? I

SunnyLion · 24/04/2023 19:35

Dodgeitornot · 24/04/2023 19:31

Why are you reporting this here and not to social services? I

This and also why not call 101

Original poster
delightfuldaisy19 · 24/04/2023 19:37

I think because it essentially rumours/hearsay from teenagers. I haven't seen it myself.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 24/04/2023 19:39

Go over there and find out.

Original poster
delightfuldaisy19 · 24/04/2023 19:43

......and do what? Peer through the window?

OP posts:
Dodgeitornot · 24/04/2023 19:45

@delightfuldaisy19 huh?? And how is posting this here going to help? You don't even know if it's true yet you didn't even make that clear in the OP. I'm so confused by your behaviour.

Dodgeitornot · 24/04/2023 19:47

delightfuldaisy19 · 24/04/2023 19:43

......and do what? Peer through the window?

Erm knock? You're posting it on here like you're 100% sure it happens. You've taken the town gossip onto the most famous blog site in the UK. Yet you don't think going over there will solve it? What are you expecting? People to join you in gossip? You sound a treat :S.

Ailsamary · 24/04/2023 19:51

the alcohol nor the cigarettes are not actually illegal in a home setting from the age of5, (scary as that sounds)
With the sex you may end up getting some young children with police records

JazbayGrapes · 24/04/2023 19:52

With the sex you may end up getting some young children with police records

somebody will end up being raped

Cinders22 · 24/04/2023 19:53

To answer your question, I would suggest you interfere. I would report it to the Police on 101 (you can do this online) and also to school. You can say you are not certain it is true but there are a lot of rumours and wanted to let someone know.

Polik · 24/04/2023 19:57

Is this all gossip?

Catshaveiteasy · 24/04/2023 20:00

Sounds like the teen rumour mill has gone into overdrive. Teenagers being over dramatic - who'd have thought it?

YesterdayImadeTheEffort · 24/04/2023 20:01

Do you known any of the other parents?
Im sure they'd like to know.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 24/04/2023 20:04

I can nearly guarantee that if this was true there would be evidence on social media

TwigTheWonderKid · 24/04/2023 20:07

If they are taking videos, are they also sharing them? I can't believe they aren't. That would be evidence, presumably?

BestPizza · 24/04/2023 20:21

It must be true. Phone the authorities and report immediately. Perhaps your ds and his mates were turned away from this house or were spurned by her dd/a girl and that is why they've spun this rumour.

It's too easy to embellish and call in the police when things don't go your way. Anyone can do this and anyone can report, every single individual is vulnerable to this.

Make sure you have your FACTS right before you act.

BestPizza · 24/04/2023 20:23

Yep. It would be have been recorded by now. As I said anyone with an agenda can report but without tangible evidence it's all hearsay.

Nimbostratus100 · 24/04/2023 20:42

report it.
nspcc or police
immediately
before someone gets hurt.
Tell them you only hear about these things second hand.

Nimbostratus100 · 24/04/2023 20:43

one of my sons best friends lived in what sounds like a similar party house. He was diagnosed alcoholic before he was 16, and it has taken him 10 years to get his life back on track

Original poster
delightfuldaisy19 · 24/04/2023 20:57

Thanks for all of the advice. My gut instinct is that it is wrong but I also feel like I'm being a bit of busybody and I have no concrete evidence.

OP posts:
DumDeeDoh · 24/04/2023 21:08

You will not be thanked. Just try to keep your kid away.

Strugglingtodomybest · 25/04/2023 07:30

I don't know what to do, do I tell her that her house and behaviour is the talk of the local area, do I contact school or do I just mind my own business?

How well do you know her? Is that a conversation you could have? If so, I would start there.

Has your DS shown you any of the videos?

CreationNat1on · 25/04/2023 07:46

Who are all the young party goers, how have their parents not picked up on it?

AliceMcK · 25/04/2023 11:59

If it wasn’t your DS and your DD instead going to a house with girls passing out, phone cameras out and drunk teens out of control, how much of a busy body would you feel?

If it’s not true the authorities will figure that out soon enough. Report it!

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