How do you get them to revise?!

[Hopelesslydevotedtoshrews]

DD is yr11 about to sit GCSEs. I can't seem to get her to do any revision. She's bright but not motivated at all. I have tried being relaxed because I know she gets anxious but she doesn't seem to be doing anything and any conversation or suggestions I make seem to make it worse.

I feel like I need to hug and kick at the same time if you see what I mean. It doesn't help that school has been really socially challenging for her recently or that I was so different to her as a teen that I genuinely don't know what to suggest that might help.

I know she'll be devastated if she does badly though. Does anyone have any suggestions or experience?
Thanks!

I've no idea OP. DS is about to sit Y10 exams and he is doing absolutely nothing. Like your DD is is bright but completely unmotivated, but doesn't even have the good grace to be anxious 😂He honestly tbinks he has it all under control and is on route to a top class university despite the mounting eveidence to the contrary.

DH and I were both self motivated, diligent students at school so we are at a complete loss with how to handle him.

How did she do in mocks?
is she engaged when at school?
Does she go to school extra revision classes?
is she likely to get what she needs for next steps?

Is she paralysed by fear. Could you gently asking her some questions so she is revising with you?

of course he is anxious about it, dont be decieved

I don't know. DS won't do it either. He's decided that if he can scrape passes without revision then it's fine. He's had two rounds of mocks. Although I do think he's paralysed with fear over English which he might fail.q
It's keeping me awake at night.

Thanks everyone it helps that other parents are having similar discussions.

Mocks weren't great tbh. In as much as they were the worst predicted grades we've seen so far. However, apparently everyone did dreadfully so I can't tell if the school have marked really hard to try and gee them all up or if it's looking less positive than before.

I think she tries at school and does go to after school revision sessions but seems so disengaged at resentful of it at home it's really hard to tell what's going in. Worst case scenario would be having to stay at her current school which I know she really doesn't want to do instead of moving on to a sixth form. I'm trying to catch myself on because we aren't talking failing as such but possibly grades that really don't reflect ability.

I'm trying to take a chirpy approach and asked her to write down three things a day she has to get done. Today has been, a revision thing, a life thing, and a self-care thing. I know she's done some French, picked up and put away her clothes and washed her hair. So I'll try and get her to do that again tomorrow.

Thanks again and a hand hold for anyone else going through the exam season!

If worst case scenario is being able to do subjects of choice just not at preferred location, then that's not so bad.

However if someone can't/won't revise for GCSEs then you should at least think how they will cope with A levels ...

It is awful. You just feel at a loss. We are on child number 7 of 8 to do GCSEs, some have done terribly, some really very well, but our latest to go through it won’t even attend school 99% of the time due to ongoing mental health issues. I don’t even think she’s going to attend.

My DS has no desire to revise at home. It's a cause of much tension. He is going to after school revision sessions though. And fortunately he doesn't go on study leave until June 15th.

The problem is, he has no idea what he wants to do when he finishes school so he has nothing to motivate him. He's likely to end up with 4's, 5's and 6's but could probably achieve more in some subjects if he put his mind to it.

Will she sit next to you and do notes/workbooks/past papers - DS was doing so - he seems to need someone next to him keeping him on track and stopping him feeling overwhelmed.

Will she do stuff like seneca courses?
https://senecalearning.com/en-GB/

If not then there isn't much to do but wait and hope.

We have hit a wall with DS now though mainly because of the school administration seems to be actively alienating him - his teachers all praise his attitude and have no issues with him and he's never had any problems before this but seems to have got on someone high up shit list and there are lots of odd stunts being pulled round him.

He should still get the grades to get to college but they don't do study leave and he is getting upset and stressed and on edge for next thing and it's demotivated him. We are starting to feel very helpless supporting him though I'm not longer surprised they've spent years languishing in special measures.

I had the same problem op. I nagged, but it seemed to make it worse, so in the end I left them to get on with it (apart from hiring an English tutor to get DS2 a 4, as I couldn't take another year of him doing English!).

I figured that if the worse came to the worse, they could retake at some point.

DS1 is now doing his A levels, and I had to laugh when, about 6 months ago, he announced that he'd finally got the hang of revising!

For reference, he watches YouTube videos and takes notes from them. It means he can frequently pause them to take in the info and write his notes.