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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Advice on nose piercing

22 replies

overit74 · 18/04/2023 22:02

Hi
My 13 year old daugter came home with her nose pierced last week. A year 8 girl so 12 or 13 years old did it with a home piercing kit in Starbucks. . I am livid. Not only is it totally inappropriate but it is a safety and hygiene issue. Is this even legal and what would you do? I have reported it to the school but as it was done out of school hours, they do not seem to be taking any action

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Drummend01 · 18/04/2023 22:35

These things happen, it’s done now. It’s a tiny hole that will close eventually.

As far as I know with parents consent it’s legal to get the nose pierced at any age, obviously she’s had it done by a friend behind your back which is wrong but not illegal and the school won’t do anything. I don’t imagine her friends held your daughter down, she must have wanted it done. You need to have a discussion with your daughter about the importance of getting it done professionally, how to clean it, signs of infection to keep an eye out for, what the rules are if she wants any other piercings etc

Choccyoclocky · 18/04/2023 22:39

I recently had my nose pierced as an adult, about a month ago now. It is still sore and I was very careful with cleaning etc. I would be really disappointed that it was done by a friend and not in a proper piercing studio. I only paid £15 for my nose so it isn't like it's expensive.

I would likely get her to take it out incase it gets infected and if she complies without a fight, I'd consider letting her get it done professionally in the summer so it can heal.

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 18/04/2023 23:31

The Buck stops with your daughter - it sounds as though she wasn’t forced to have it done - not sure what you thought the school could or would do about it!

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 18/04/2023 23:32

Posted too soon……
your title pet much sums it up “Teenagers”!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 18/04/2023 23:33

Why would you expect her school to do anything about it if you don’t discipline her?

Ilovetea42 · 18/04/2023 23:36

I think this is just the type of thing teenagers do experimenting! I wouldn't have involved the school it's nothing to do with them, but I'd have had a good chat with dd about why it's important to wait for piercings and why the hygiene is so important. I'd also have a chat about staying true to yourself and how to say no if something feels like a bad idea. However she may very well have wanted to do it and asked her friend to do it and they may have come up with this plan together so I'd probably remove a privilege like phone time etc as a consequence for not talking to you about it and not doing it safely.

lailamaria · 19/04/2023 14:57

i don't see how it's inappropriate tbh

Tygertiger · 19/04/2023 15:43

Why would the school do anything? If she’d done it on school premises, fair enough, but it has literally nothing to do with them?

Is it a single-use kit? I’d potentially want her to be tested for hepatitis, but other than that she’s been silly but it’s not the worst offence she could have done. I would encourage her to take it out as it’s very unlikely the friend got the best position for the piercing, and tell her you’ll take her to a professional piercer’s to have it done properly- but most studios will want her to be 16, so she’ll have to wait.

Original poster
overit74 · 19/04/2023 21:11

Yes the buck stops with my daugter who is silly enough to to it in an unsterilized enviroment but it is also stops with the 12 year old girl who is piercing girls noses without sterilized equipment or any kind of training .

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Original poster
overit74 · 19/04/2023 21:13

I have involved the school as i dont have the girl's numbers or thier parents numbers to contact them directly and tell them that what they are doing is a potential health risk

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Original poster
overit74 · 19/04/2023 21:15

Yes I think you are right. Unfortunately there was a large group of girls all getting thier nose pierced at the same time

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Original poster
overit74 · 19/04/2023 21:17

Really? You dont think its inapprorpriate for a 12 year old girl to pierce other 12 and 13 year old girls noses without any training or sterilized equipment in Starbucks. . How strange!

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Zola1 · 19/04/2023 21:18

I think basically stupid things happen and teenagers take risks and push boundaries. I'd talk to her about making safe decisions, the risks around needles and hygiene, and the reality that any of her friends could have a bloodborne disease that she mightnt know about.
Actual piercing wise, it's whatever to me, they heal, but I agree it sounds not the best environment. I've told mine if she wants a piercing she asks me and we talk about it and I take her to a proper shop to get it done.

ivfbabymomma1 · 19/04/2023 21:21

I'm not sure what you expect the school to do? Surely what the girls do out of school is nothing to do with them? They can highlight the dangers of it like they do TikTok or something but not much else?

PickleOfAConundrum · 19/04/2023 21:24

I've my nose pierced plus a number of other places too 🤫but if my daughter who's a tween wanted her nose pierced as a teenager I'd not be sure what to say tbh. Part of me is she's growing up into a woman but the other part is she's still my baby girl so it's a pickle of a conundrum really. I know when she's an adult she can pierce what she wants and get tattoos wherever one her body. My son's pierced and covered in tattoos but he's an adult.

Stressyfab · 19/04/2023 21:24

How on earth did this happen in a Starbucks! At a table? Did everyone go to the toilets? I know I’m missing the point but I’m a bit amazed!

Skankhunt84 · 19/04/2023 21:43

This has happened forever. We were piercing each others ears and noses as teens at sleepovers and in school toilets.

Yes it's unhygienic and a bit daft, but it's not at all uncommon or the end of the world.

I'd tell her you're not overjoyed about it and emphasise that hygiene is very important in piercing, and tell her not to do it again.

When she's 16 she can go and get piercings done professionally at a studio.

TakeMyStrongHand · 19/04/2023 22:03

Ah memories! Just wash the shit out of it and if it looks like it needs medical attention, get it.

She'll be doing far worse soon enough Flowers

Houselamp · 19/04/2023 23:06

I did my sisters ears in her bedroom with a prefect badge.
Two of my friends did each others noses with one safety pin in the PE changing room toilets
My nephew did his own lip peircing at home

All involved were 12-14, its stupid but not the end of the world. I'd be slightly glad the girl had a kit not just a grotty badge of her blazer.
I would just get her to take it out, keep it clean and let it heal- make sure she knows it wasn't the best choice os of the risk of infections or it being really wonky, then if she still wants one get it redone (maybe on the other side) in a proper peircing studio.

We did stick and poke tattoos on each other when we were 15-17 it could be worse lol

titchy · 19/04/2023 23:14

overit74 · 19/04/2023 21:17

Really? You dont think its inapprorpriate for a 12 year old girl to pierce other 12 and 13 year old girls noses without any training or sterilized equipment in Starbucks. . How strange!

Massively inappropriate. Where were her parents? Oh... that's you... Shoulda been more parenty shouldn't you!

titchy · 19/04/2023 23:14

I have to ask though, would it have been better done in Caffè Nero?

Original poster
overit74 · 25/05/2023 16:58

Ah I see, Its my fault obvioulsy . I should still be picking up my teenage daughter at the school gates. It was obviously my failing to let my teenager daughter to to starbucks after school.

I dont know if you have children but good luck with your parenty approach!

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