How much screen time does your Y10 (or thereabouts) get per day/ week?

[Notfortigers]

Am trying to crack down on DS's excessive screen use and get him outside a bit more. Not easy for a variety of reasons which I won't go into here.

What is considered reasonable in your house, ie how many hours per day (or over a week if it's not the same every day) are your teen DCs on a screen? Including console/ YouTube etc/ phone/ basically anything that counts as leisure time. I'm excluding homework and time spent chatting to friends (although unfortunately my dc doesn't do much of the latter, although his younger sibling does).

I have no idea what is reasonable - I only have my DC's word for how mean I am compared to his friends' parents but I am taking that with a pinch of salt!

So he's coming up 15 in 3-4 months max.
I have two older DS now 20 and 18 and tbh at 15 I didn't enforce screen limits although they weren't allowed in their bedrooms at night.

They did however do other things, football, scouts, refereeing for example. Cycling with DH, a walk and a meal (at a push), mowing the lawn for a small financial reward. Crafts and Lego I'm afraid were left behind long ago. School work also took up a chunk of time and as long as that was done, and that was the priority, I otherwise left them to it.

They're now off at uni with no issues.

Thanks to those of you who have given constructive advice - lots for me to consider there.

To those of you suggesting I leave him to it and let him work out the consequences in case he becomes a mummy's boy or whatever I was accused of above - that is what I have been doing. It's not working and that way screen addiction lies (not for everyone but in his case). I can see the signs of this already, hence starting this thread.

My daughter is 13, almost 14 and I’ve stopped with the screen time limits. It was causing so many arguments between us and her attitude was awful. Since I’ve given her more freedom around her electronics usage, it’s got so much better. And actually, I’ve found she self regulates and comes off it at a reasonable time on school nights to go to sleep so I wish I had trusted her sooner. In the school holidays though she’s a pain in the butt and she’s on her phone until early hours but it is what it is. She could be doing much much I suppose x

*could be doing much worse that was meant to say!

A 14 year old is not nearly an adult - they still need to be parented/ supported/ guided.

Quite clearly - letting teens 'learn limits ' - will lead to the many screen addicted adults we see around us! (and I know Im shit with too much screen too - I include myself)

I don't believe how many adults on mumsnet say that teens will learn to self regulate if they are allowed to game 24/7 - quite clearly as a society we have many many addicted adults -

teenagers need to develop interests outside the house/ off screens - before they have lost their entire youth to gaming and screens. It would be negligent parenting if the OP just shut the door on a 14 year old and let him avoid the world.

Could you try and sit down calmly with him - and say there has to be balance with other things in his life?

Hi I agree with this-my year 10 definitely still needs rules/boundaries/lots of guidance. Some children might be good at self regulating but apps like TikTok and YouTube are built to be addictive so it's very difficult to resist "just 5 more minutes" that can easily turn into an hour or more. Mine has a time limit on TikTok and YouTube, if he didn't he could spend hours on his phone. He also has downtime at 9:30 and has to hand his phone over before bed. He does this willingly now. He doesn't sleep well so we have to remind him of good sleep hygiene habits. The same for my younger dc who is even worse at self regulating.

I like the idea of having to go outside/do something active before screens-gaming in the morning in our house always turns into an argument when asked to turn it off and do something else but when they're actually doing something they don't crave screens at all.

So I completely understand your pain OP.

10-12 hours/day on non-school days, I should think.
So like yesterday his day went like this:
0.25 6am-615: get up browsing phone, quick snack
615-730: paper round (probably no phone)
730-745: breakfast, put bike and stuff away
4.5 745-1215: on phone, talking to me, his brother, sharing stuff with brother
1200-1215: organise chips, cuddle cat, off phone
2 1215-1415: lunch, on phone
0.5 1415-1445: on phone with me in car
1445-1700: skate outing with me, no phone
0.5 1700-1730: on phone with me in car, text his dad about tea
1 1730-1830: on phone at home
1830-1930: supper, organise stuff for school, cuddle cat, banter, maybe watch tv
2 1930-2130: on phone
2130+ sleep

That adds up to only ~ 10.75 I guess.

I don't put limits on screen time but I do expect homework to be done straight after school and they help with the dishes after we have dinner together. Everyone in our household contributes to cleaning. After that they can chill and do what they want. If they go out with friends then I'll have dinner ready before they leave, unless they're having dinner over at friends, which is fine, they know to tell me in advance and not leave it to last second. Then I'll freeze it for lunches etc.
In saying this, mine has gaming consoles and a laptop, but they don't have a smart phone, only an old thing that texts and calls. I do try to avoid using my smartphone in front of them also. 10 is too young for Facebook etc (blocked it via our router, I'm an IT professional). But I'm less worried about YouTube and stuff, they often show me stuff they've found on their PC (look at this cool vid!)
Mine hasn't shown interest in social media since their friends are all on PS and XBOX or Minecraft. So long as homework is done and they help about the house like they should I don't mind them playing games with their friends.