Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Teens and inter-railing

13 replies

breakingboundaries · 13/04/2023 07:25

How on earth do you let go of my worries that your teen will be okay inter-railing for 3 weeks?

She'll have not long turned 18 and is quite young for her age. A bit dreamy, not street savvy. She's going with a friend, who's not especially street savvy either. She forgets things; is frequently late for things; loses her phone/key/bank cards.

I've chatted about the risks and how to keep herself safe but she's done typical silly things here when out with friends (like getting totally drunk, unable to stand). I'm so worried that I won't be there to make sure she gets 'home' okay. I'm feeling my advice is going in one ear and straight out the other.

I know she probably needs to go and make mistakes but I'm really worried she might get taken advantage of.

I'm not going to be able to sleep for 3 weeks am I?

Any tips or advice on a belt and braces approach to ensuring she is as safe as possible?

OP posts:

NeedingCoffee · 13/04/2023 07:33

Remember that most of us (your and my generation) interailed in an era with no mobile phones, no AirTag tracking, no internet to book accommodation! She’ll be absolutely fine and in any case you’ll be able to see where she is (if she agrees you can) almost all the time.

My parents were equally worried and made us book accommodation ahead for the first few nights (I think we must have found hostel phone numbers in a travel book). You could do that I guess.

midgemadgemodge · 13/04/2023 07:53

I made quite a big deal with mine about how it was quite a big deal

So yes keep talking - I find things did go in despite appearing not to

Has she shared her plan with you - working out where, what likely costs are etc?

Mine had a fantastic time - being a very small group worked well as they couldn't lose anyone accidentally ( stick together rule )

FrenchandSaunders · 13/04/2023 07:55

You will worry but she’ll have a fab time and grow up a lot! One of mine did it at 18.

Leftoverssandwich · 13/04/2023 08:01

Look for ways to mitigate what could go wrong. Losing stuff - what could she do to make sure she keeps passport, phone and bank card safe as much as possible? Get her to practice keeping important things in a money belt to form the habit before she goes. Make sure she has your phone number written down so she has it if her phone goes walking. Make sure she has an online card like Revolut (also good for foreign spending) so she has money if she loses her physical bank card (easier to get a new phone in transit than a new bank card!).

If you can encourage ways to make sure she would have the essentials in a crisis the rest is growing up for her and hopefully she’ll have a wonderful time.

Tiggy321 · 13/04/2023 08:03

She'll be fine. My 18 year old has been alone in SE Asia for past 2 months. He's a boy so a bit different but he's having a ball and still got 2.5 months left! I was a bit anxious before he left but he's fairly sensible... have told him not to tell me about the scary stuff until he's home safe and sound. It's all part of growing up and I see it all as a fantastic life experience!

Tiggy321 · 13/04/2023 08:06

Oh and yes to money belt. And make sure she has colour photocopies of her passport and leave one copy at home too. Various bank cards, kept separate in case of theft. Good travel insurance- but the best one you can afford!!

JoeMaplin · 13/04/2023 08:17

Mine went travelling across Asia for 5 months at 18 after previously doing interailing just after a levels. It was a great experience. Lots of planning and consideration for safety concerns.

youngestisapsycho · 13/04/2023 08:26

Make sure they both have each others emergency contacts in their phones and pics of their passports. Also they should know each others phone lock codes.

Rebootnecessary · 13/04/2023 08:36

Because it's by doing these things and having problems to sort out that they mature and grow up. Independence is a skill that needs to be learned.

I know it's scary as a parent to wave them off but ultimately if they're in Europe they are not much more than 12 hours away from home and with mobile phones they are never really out of contact.

midgemadgemodge · 13/04/2023 08:40

They need to learn to navigate without their phones , so their phones aren't being waved about all the time

So look at your route before you set out

Brefugee · 13/04/2023 08:43

she is going to learn to grow up very fast.
I am assuming you have established a rule about contact, how and when? Give her advice, then wave her off and let her be late, lose things and learn how the world works.

Original poster

breakingboundaries · 13/04/2023 10:34

Thanks for all the advice - and reassurance! Yes, they've booked ahead - a combo of hostels/airbnb and ... what looked to be a dosshouse 😮 by reading the poor reviews (they'd only read the good ones!). It's on an isolated industrial estate near the airport when they arrive in Italy. I said to cancel that and I'd pay the remainder for a stay in a decent hotel. Sounds a bit helicoptering, I know, but I'd rather pay £50 than worry on their first night. They have a plan (although doing too much in a short space of time).

I'll ask her to turn on 'findmyiphone' although I'm not sure it works without data or wifi snd she frequently runs out of data

OP posts:

Rebootnecessary · 13/04/2023 14:47

breakingboundaries · 13/04/2023 10:34

I'll ask her to turn on 'findmyiphone' although I'm not sure it works without data or wifi snd she frequently runs out of data

Actually, somewhere reasonable to stay on their first night is a good shout. The first night can feel really disorienting so a cheap hotel rather than a grotty hostel is a good idea.

Flip