My DS1 just turned 19 and I'm at my wit's end...
He and his brother (DS2, 12) split their time 50-50 between his dad and I.
DS1 is always talking about his big plans and what he's going to do but he never actually does anything, he gets huffy if he's called out on it, he's entitled, he lies to try to make himself sound more important... he also always needs to be the center of attention or he'll go out of his way to ruin the atmosphere for everyone else. I feel awful saying this but he's exactly like my dad and it's gotten worse the older he gets. DS1 doesn't really help around the house, he doesn't do chores, he was supposed to move out at 18 but there was always some problem (and I believed the excuses at first but it's been a year and I'm realising they were all lies)...
... I don't know what to do.
He pays £150 (£300 total) to his dad and I in 'rent' and household expenses as an incentive to move out (he works in retail earning more than I did at that age... he dropped out of uni at Christmas, he says he'll restart next year).
I want him to grow up and move out but I'm worried if I force him out his dad will let him live there (and DS1 will make me the bad guy) or he'll move out with me as guarantor and I'll end up footing the bill when it all goes horribly wrong.
I feel like such a failure as a parent but he's making the household miserable and DS2 is clearly also struggling to cope with the behaviour.