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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do I help my tween with this situation.

8 replies

Janegoldberg · 19/03/2023 07:03

She recently tried to step back from a friendship with a girl who was fibbing about her. This girl then makes a big effort to insert herself in her life.
dd has a boyfriend this girl then texts this boyf to tell him dd is cheating. This the results in a big fall out with this boy posting awful stuff about dd on social media.
the girl then acts the victim saying she was ‘helping’ said friend and dd’s school friend then last night gave a sleepover and start calling this boy who then posts that he likes the girl!
my dd is distraught and I’m struggling to be able to help her. She’s not ready to walk aaa week y from friendships she’s scared
what can I do to help her?

OP posts:
Harping0n · 19/03/2023 07:21

Tweens are too young for boyfriends. Sadly this is pretty usually tween/teenage behavior.
have some chats about what is a friendship/friend. Be emotional support. There isn’t much more you can do Keep an eye it doesn’t turn into proper bullying.
If she has a phone limit use and talk about what to and what not to post - and then cross fingers she will be sensible.
Distraction is your friend today - a day out/cozy day at home with no phone access.

premicrois · 19/03/2023 07:28

Tweens with boyfriends and phones and 'posting' things online Sad

Take the phone away. It's hard enough at school without inviting this kind of thing into your daughters home.

icelollycraving · 19/03/2023 07:32

This seems intense as a relationship tbh. Social media is for slightly older ones imho.
The girl is a shit stirrer. There has always been people who incite and invite drama.

Original poster
Janegoldberg · 19/03/2023 07:32

wE have rules around the phone. The reality is that they do use it and to completely remove it punishes and isolates her and no one else!

i keep her really busy and the boyf is in school not outside!

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Original poster
Janegoldberg · 19/03/2023 07:33

But yes tiday think an absolute distraction is required

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Original poster
Janegoldberg · 19/03/2023 07:34

icelollycraving · 19/03/2023 07:32

This seems intense as a relationship tbh. Social media is for slightly older ones imho.
The girl is a shit stirrer. There has always been people who incite and invite drama.

She is and my gi to us to remove shit stirred from your life but dd feels that will make it worse!

she has limited screen time I check etc
it’s more things being said ABOUT her on social media than her use which is my worry

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premicrois · 19/03/2023 07:36

Janegoldberg · 19/03/2023 07:32

wE have rules around the phone. The reality is that they do use it and to completely remove it punishes and isolates her and no one else!

i keep her really busy and the boyf is in school not outside!

You need to isolate her though. It's not a punishment to take control and refuse to allow this in her house. This kind of drama is bad enough in school: kids used to go home and feel the relief and freedom of being away from it. Now we have under developed, emotionally immature kids being not getting a minutes calm because all the dramatics are there with them, in their own house.

Original poster
Janegoldberg · 19/03/2023 08:17

Need ideas to cheer her up today! Was going to stay in and cook but think she needs to get out!
phone Will be left at home. Feel so sad for her she’s just not built to be manipulative like this

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