Arrggh!
I want to jump out of this ship! What happened to my delightful, sweet little girl? She is 14, soon to be 15. I have been going through the menopause for a few years and had it tough (no HRT either with an unsympathetic GP who said I was too young when my periods abruptly stopped).
DD has gradually gone from the lovely primary aged girl to the current year 10 ‘she devil’ and it’s awful to live with. I am also going through a divorce (a wake up call through menopause that caused me to instigate a split) with stressful letters to and throw. I have also lot both siblings in the last 18 months, one to suicide. No parents alive. Eldest child lives with both of us but is off to university in September - currently on a gap year. He could be moody but it didn’t last long and he a nice lad these days. Seems to have really matured (19).
DD lives in her room all the time apart from going to school. She doesn’t speak and grunts if you dare look at her. She spends all day on her phone. I knew she was talking to a boy from school and her head of year told me she had a gentleman friend (this boy). If I take her out all she wants to do is spend my money. She won’t go anywhere else apart from shops and I actually hate shopping now with being menopausal. All I want to do is go to the countryside and sit quietly drinking tea. We are polar opposites. When I do take her out shopping she doesn’t speak to me all day. Even when we have stopped for lunch somewhere. It’s awful. I spend all evening after work alone on the sofa. My job is stressful (senior manager) so I spent all day sorting out shi* and listening to moans from staff. So, my life is pretty awful right now. I dread being on leave with her and weekends are no fun. Her dad doesn’t have her much but, apparently, she is the same with him. She doesn’t lose her temper or shout but she is just very solemn and grumpy. She looks down her nose at me even though I’m in a good job and a postgrad!!
I’ve had enough. I need to get some time back for me. I give her £50 a month pocket money plus £47 a month for her iphone 14 (I have an iPhone 8 ffs). Her dad gives her £50 a month pocket money. She spends it instantly so asks for more throughout the month. What do you guys do about pocket money? I didn’t get any at her age and did a paper round and had a little babysitting business on the go. My mum just couldn’t afford it. DD has also started going into town on a Saturday afternoon to meet her friend. I am delighted!! But, she uses me as a taxi and it’s driving me mental plus stops me going anywhere. I pay £100 a month for her school bus pass (private bus company). I’m thinking of getting her a bus pass for the local buses (£25 a month) as she can get to school on those (with a 20 minute walk) plus use it all day everyday. Her school one she can’t.
Do you think I’d be better giving her, say, £15 a week pocket money a week if her dad gives her £50 a month still? So she has money to go into town? The cinema is £5, swimming £3. Not sure if this is the best thing or not.
I can’t remember being like this with my mum and I know she used to visit her mum on a Saturday (I stopped going so much once I hit secondary school age). I also spent more time out and about with friends than DD does but then I grew up pre-mobile phones.
Any advice? Does it get easier? Will she snap out of it?