Best contraception for DD15

[Redbrickwall200]

DD15 has been dating her first boyfriend who's 16 for 5 months. She's told me that she's not had sex with him yet because "she's not legal". She may or may not be being honest - not sure. We have had plenty of talks about keeping safe etc.

She will be 16 in 4 months time. I was planning to wait until she's 16 until I take her (or she goes herself) to the doctors, but (rather reluctantly) I'm now wondering whether I should take her sooner. I really don't want to encourage her to be sexually active at her age but equally I do want her to be protected from.pregnancy if sex is going to happen anyway!

I know birth control is an individual choice, but I'd really like some advice from some parents of teen girls about how best to advise her. Is there one type of birth control that is most regularly recommended for teens (in addition to using condoms obviously!) There seems so much choice. Wanting to balance effectiveness with minimal side effects. Which is the most popular for girls of this age and why? Thanks!

Ask if she wants you to go with her to the family planning clinic. She might prefer to go with her bf - after all it's his responsibility too. I went with my bf aged 16 - even though he was probably embarrassed I think it's great that he came and faced his responsibilities. If she knows you have her blessing I imagine she'll respect you by being careful. I wouldn't delay it til she's 16.

I'd never thought of BF going with her. That could be an option. Maybe she could go with BF and me! (Joking).

Just feeling stressed about the whole prospect - especially with GCSEs looming too.

My dd wanted me to go with her when she was 17! The dr looked at me like I was insane, gave me a filthy look and said to my dd 'do you want her in here with you?' Offer to go with her, they are still very young.

If there is an NHS family planning clinic nearby- direct her there. Far more knowledge and experience in contraceptives than the GP IMO- who is also dealing with 100's of other conditions. Some family planning clinics are connected to sexual health services but most have specific younger people and under 24's clinics.

You know your daughter better than randoms on MN, but at the same age- I took myself to get the pill- without my mum! We are very close and open in most things, but I didn't feel the need for her to know about my sex life. Nowadays, a patch is available, implant and many more options rather than having to remember a daily pill.

You might find your daughter is using contraception. Offer to be there and support, but let her choose whether she needs you to come along, or take her boyfriend or go alone.

Thanks all good advice. Maybe I'm being niaive hoping she'll wait until she's 16. I guess I'm also worried that contraceptives might have side effects that may affect her ability to concentrate for GCSEs (although being in love could have that effect too I guess!!)

I can only give you my experience.

Parents and I were always very open with each other. And they always made sure I had options and the ability to make my own decisions. For example... My BF could stay over etc, condoms were kept in an accessible place for me to get without asking.

I told them my BF and I had slept together the first night it happened. Quite literally just sat them down and told them... For some reason I felt like I was keeping a secret and they needed to know (I think I needed to be told "hey, if that's what you wanted then it's OK" kinda thing)

My mother told me she was making an appointment for me to discuss my contraception options and offered to go with me. I 100% wanted and needed her there. I was on the pill within a week.

My mother and I had a discussion about 2 weeks before and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to have sex for some time, but things and feelings change quickly when you are 15/16. I do believe my mother would have had me look into and serious consider my own contraception before I lost my virginity if she thought I was going to.

I went on the pill and was on it for over 10 years with no issues at all but I ALWAYS doubled up with condoms. It was always drilled into me that BOTH parties need to do protection as the risk of pregnancy etc is much higher otherwise. I. Liked the pill as it kept me regular, and I had control over my "periods". I could run a pack together for example if I had a holiday or night out or exams. I didn't have many side effects except I would get slightly more headaches triggered by stress. I occasionally missed a pill or took it late, but ended up in a very good habit of taking it every night at 8pm (years later I still remember the time my phone would ping to remind me! Ha!)

I would be back on the pill again now if I didn't want the hormones in my body again (have since found out my risk of certain cancers are higher due to family diagnosises, and the pill also slightly increases these risks especially if you have it in your family)

I would steer clear of the injection etc as once that's in her system it's there for the set time (and you don't know how she'll react to it, she could be stuck with unpleasant side effects for a time period over exams etc)

OnNaturesCourse - thanks so much for sharing your experience. So helpful to get some more insight.

Chances are she could have already been. I think it’s from age 11-12 a child can go alone to the drs. My DD 13 goes for condoms all the time. She doesn’t use them but for some reason the school gave them a C card to get free condoms so they all go and get free condoms. I wouldn’t suggest going with her though when I was 15 I wouldn’t have wanted my mum tagging along when I’m at the gp talking about my sex life that’s about to start or had started. As long as she knows she can talk to you

My DD is a very similar age and in a very similar position - except she has told me that she and her BF have had sex.

As per previous posters at the same, whilst evidently not being thrilled about it, I provided access to condoms and encouraged her to make an appointment with the Dr to discuss additional contraception, which she did.

I went the surgery with her but she went in on her own and came back with a prescription for the mini-pill.

The Dr has suggested she try it for three months and depending on how she gets on, could then have the implant.

Your 13 year old daughter goes to get condoms?
😮 my daughter is only 8, I’m panicking at the thought of her teenage years

My DD17 has been on the pill since she was 14 due to bad periods.
No problem with studying for exams. Not sure where you get that peculiar idea.
I'd say having a painful and very tiring heavy period every 4 weeks is a bigger problem when it comes to studying for exams.

Condoms are just too iffy for that age group.
If you want decent contraception the pill is what to go for.
The mini pill can be messy as there can be breakthrough bleeds and stuff which puts people off. Also you have to take it the same time every day as much as possible.

Many many women take the pill and they have minimal side effects.
If she had side effects she could change the brand of pill.

Getting pregnant and having to have a termination could be considerably worse 'side effects' you might say.

My dd got the implant at 16, she knew that she is quite forgetful so the pill would've been problematic so this was a lot more reliable. I also made sure she knew of the importance of condoms too and how she could get them.
I took her to the clinic for the implant as i offered and she wanted me there.
She's had the implant 5 years now (has had it changed once in that time) and is quite happy with it.