Ear Piercings

[dadbabyko]

Good day, I'm a single dad, have a 14 year old daughter.
We've come a from a sort of conservative background and traditions, so what I'm going to ask is something that's bothering me for a while and I hope you can understand that this is not common to our family's kids.

My daughter wrote me a very long letter justifying and explaining why she wants to have more than 2 piercings per ear (as she has now...) and how it's going to make her really happy. I'm an old-fashioned dad, I respect people who've done things on their bodies, it's theirs and it's none of my business.
I wanted to have a tattoo as well when I was younger, but realizing now that I've made a good decision on my body not to have it.

I don't want to be the villain if I said no to her. I'm not sure how her mum, another old-fashioned woman, will decide on it. I don't want to say yes either, definitely not. Saying no meant I'll probably put a little gap between us emotionally. But I don't want to be a part of something that she might regret later in life.

She wants to have at least 5 piercings on each ear.

Am I reacting too much? Should I not care? Should I go against family traditions of not having tattoos and ear piercings on male members and no multiple ear piercings on female?

I'm on the fence regarding this, eventually I might give in, I just want to get your views on the matter.

Thank you very much for your insights.

Awwww, I did the letter thing too and was told no.
so I went out and got a septum piercing instead on my own!
I’d agree to taking her for a new ear piercing for her birthday or if she helps around the house etc?
happy balance :)

Personally, I'd be ok with it. But I say that as someone who had about 9 piercings between both ears around that age. I hardly wear earrings at all now and I doubt I could get earnings into most of them anyway. I think as far as piercings go, ears are at the tamer end. I'd be inclined to say yes and then you have wiggle room for a no if she gets ideas about something more adventurous.

I dont see the big deal about ear piercings. They can be taken out and will heal up if she doesn't want them in the future.

I would start with school rules. DD's school only allows 3 ear lobe piercings until Y11. 6th form only allows one facial piercing, no restrictions on ear.

I personally think that it is my DD's body and as long as the piercing is not permanently changing the shape of the ear (I would object against gauges), the holes are easy to either close or left without studs.

I would also check with a piercing studio from which age they do needle piercings outside the "standard" 1-2 per lobe. Ours doesn't do helix until they are 16 for example.

DD is currently negotiating more piercings as well, she is responsible, takes care of them and I only asked her research the nose stud she wants and we talk about it in detail then. I think she will put a 3rd lobe and the helix on her 16th birthday list.

If you said that she has to go to a reputable piercer and pay for it herself out of pocket money then you’d probably find that a) the piercer won’t do cartilage on under 16s and that b) she’ll be saving up for years if she want 3 more in each ear and isn’t willing to give up going out, clothes shopping etc. I didn’t get a second lobe piercing until I was 16 and had a job as whilst my mum never banned it, she also wouldn’t pay for it!

Let her get the piercings, otherwise she'll do it herself with a needle and an ice cube.

Dts school only allow one lobe piercing but you can get little plastic spacer things on Claire's that keep them open but you can't see the piercing.

I've got a double helix and double lobes. Currently considering what else I can add.

It’s nothing like a tattoo as they can be taken out. Take her to somewhere reputable, they won’t do all the piercings all at once anyway.

That's actually bullshit. I've got 4 holes in my ears that simply won't disappear. Had them when I was 18/19 and thought it was all cool to go and get lots of piercings. I'm in my 50s now and bloody hate the mess of my ears. I've got earrings in the other 3 holes but really wish I'd just stuck to one classy piercing per ear.

OP. I don't know what to suggest. Personally I wasn't the type of child who would have done anything behind my parents back so I waited until I was older and could do what I wanted as I lived away from home.

However, my parents were right. Here we are 30+ years later and my ears are a mess.

I wish I'd listened to my parents! (and yes, I think they do look 'chavvy' - wish I'd never done it!)

That’s odd, I have a lot of piercings in my ears and if I don’t wear earrings you can barely see them. I wore some the other day (haven’t worn any for years), and my mum asked if I’d just got them done!

Maybe compromise and tell her shes allowed to start with 1-2 additional piercings first before getting 5 per ear at once.

I would let her tbh. If you take them out for say a formal occasion you can’t really see the holes. By 15 I had 3 piercings in one ear, 4 in the other and my bellybutton done. Can’t say it’s had any negative effect on my life.

dd2 just 15 has 2 ear piercings in each ear and has just got her belly button done. Dd1 only has 1 piercing in each ear and isn’t fussed about getting more. It’s just personal choice, but it’s a pretty small thing in the great scheme of things.

Hah my 15 year old has 2 per ear & now wants a hoop in her upper ear. School only allow 1 in each year so she'd take them out for school.

I've said she can have the hoop if she pays for it (and I might go along with her and get a second piercing - always wanted it, never got round to it!!)

She wants more, including a nose piercing, and I've said not until she's 18 when she can do what she wants!