mum scared of own son

[Gettingpeakywithit]

a dear friend is experiencing dv from her son. she's a single mum and has minimal support from family or ex. I'm at a loss regarding advice. how common is this? her kid was problematic before puberty but now since a growth spurt he's out of control. any others out there with similar issues?

This must be so hard for her - and you

Is he school age? She could perhaps start by talking to the school safeguarding team for advice

It's really common and unfortunately the femicide census always contains several women who have been murdered by their sons. I don't have any advice I'm afraid but Women's Aid or Refuge might be able to help. It's a situation they will deal with a lot.

Women’s Aid and others won’t help when perpetrator is Under 18! Your poor friend that’s terrible. I would honestly speak to Social Services.

Someone I know was in a similar situation. The lack of support for parents is shocking.
If he's under 18, she can't kick him out and social services won't do much (if anything) as he is technically "a child". They may send a family worker and school might get involved, but all they'd do is give "tips" on managing/preventing the behaviour, which are common sense anyway. Son won't get taken away into care, not even temporarily for a respite. They just don't do that.
The only other thing she could do is phone the police every time he gets abusive. Once he realizes they keep coming back and that he may get a criminal record, that might kick him into touch. Sorry I've no better advice.

As said above phone the police every time and perhaps them coming to the house and warning him might scare him a bit.
Is his dad anywhere around? Could he stay with him for a while?
He needs to see a mental health team but how he can be persuaded to do that is difficult to know.
But definitely don't hesitate to call the police.

thank you all for your comments. it's sad to hear this isn't rare. I've suggested most of the actions recommended already. the problem with getting the school involved would be the feeling of shame. she is very embarrassed about this happening and blames herself. if she told the school then

then her community will know. I'm slightly removed form her school parent circle so there's more confidence being shared. I don't know what else to do if the advice I suggest isn't being acted on. it's that feeling of impotent helplessness and frustration. the dad's mia most of the time and in my opinion would only exacerbate the problem. the kid is 13 but huge and has had issues with being a bully at school.

She needs to contact social services and ask for for help.