Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Ds aged 17 can't wake up.

15 replies

BlastedPimples · 08/03/2023 10:57

It's been going on for months.

He just can't get up in the mornings. I bring him coffee. Shake him awake. Set an alarm. Open the blinds.

He has depression. He sees a psychologist. No medication.

He's missing 50%+ of his A level courses. Already he's had to drop down a year because he did so badly in his AS levels last year (E and two Us)

He's had blood tests. All normal.

He wants to get up and go to school but it's like he's a total zombie in the mornings and incapable. Perhaps insomnia? He says he doesn't sleep well.

I'm at a loss as to how to help anymore and I just leave him to it now.

He's nearly 18 and I can't do anything else. School will kick him out if he doesn't do well this time around as they require minimum C grade to progress to full A level.

He gets up around midday. Manages afternoon school sometimes. The gym. Rugby training.

Is there anything else I'm missing that he could try? Or I should do?

OP posts:

DianasTeacup · 09/03/2023 00:01

No advice sorry OP but my DS17 is the same. It's like he just can't come round. Other teen is fine, needs perhaps a 2nd shout to get up and grumbles a lot but gets up. At a loss really,sympathies.

Onnabugeisha · 09/03/2023 00:10

Forget school for now. He can get A levels online as an adult for a small fee when he is well.

Prioritise his mental health. Get registered as his carer. Get him to sign you permission to make appointments for him. Then start fighting for him to be referred for actual therapy and medication. Take him to appointments. Reassure him he is just putting life on pause, no different from a young person who is too physically unwell for education. That his life isn’t ruined, he’s not failing. He has an illness and you are going to support him until he beats it.

Consider applying for PIP as that could give you & him cash he can use for things like exercise therapy (gym fees), or even in critical situations seeing a private psychologist for assessments and therapy, or a psychiatrist quickly.

justasking111 · 09/03/2023 00:17

DS was bad in the morning. When he got to university said he just got in the shower every morning at 8am to wake up, dried dressed coffee and off to lecture for nine three days a week.

Beeeeeeeee · 09/03/2023 00:21

What is making him depressed? What does he want to do long term? If he doesn’t know, has he had professional careers advice? how does he feel about doing A levels? He doesn’t seem interested so maybe it’s the wrong thing for him? would he be better placed doing an apprenticeship with nvqs. He needs to do something he enjoys and thrives on

LHReturns · 09/03/2023 00:23

Has he seen a ME specialist? Sorry if asking the obvious.

pizzaHeart · 09/03/2023 00:26

Have they excluded sleep apnea?

holierthanthou73 · 09/03/2023 00:57

Beeeeeeeee · 09/03/2023 00:21

clearly you have no understanding of depression 🙄

AlwaysLatte · 09/03/2023 01:00

I'd probably try a recommended sleep clinic.

endofthelinefinally · 09/03/2023 01:03

Have you looked into SAD? I am sure there is a current thread on here about it.
Everyone should take vit D supplements in winter. Has DS had his levels checked?
Could you encourage him to talk to MIND?

Onnabugeisha · 09/03/2023 01:11

The blood tests should have ruled out ME and Vit D deficiency.

SAD is a possibility if he tends to get like this in winter.

bugsinmybrain · 09/03/2023 01:17

Onnabugeisha · 09/03/2023 01:11

The blood tests should have ruled out ME and Vit D deficiency.

SAD is a possibility if he tends to get like this in winter.

I'm diagnosed with CFS and fibromyalgia

There are no reliable blood tests, they are diagnosed by process of elimination and take several years but at least months usually to get diagnosed because the only way to is ruling everything else out

I was officially diagnosed over a year ago now - I'm still constantly being sent for tests and scans to rule everything out

bugsinmybrain · 09/03/2023 01:19

Did this come on after a viral illness or has he always been this way?

A lot of people who are diagnosed with CFS and/or fibromyalgia find it can be traced back to a viral illness or a traumatic event

Emelene · 09/03/2023 01:33

Have you been super strict with sleep hygiene? Regular bedtime and wake time even at weekends. No screen 1 hour before bed, reduce caffeine etc etc?

Can he be referred by the GP to a sleep clinic? Could you speak to someone privately?

endofthelinefinally · 09/03/2023 01:55

Onnabugeisha · 09/03/2023 01:11

The blood tests should have ruled out ME and Vit D deficiency.

SAD is a possibility if he tends to get like this in winter.

Depends if they tested vit d levels. It can be a bit of a lottery which tests get done IME. Each one has to be specified by the person requesting.

RoseAylingEllisFanClub · 09/03/2023 01:59

Could it be worth investing in a vibrating alarm clock? (typically used by deaf people, but anyone can have them). I’ve recommended them in the past to others with difficulty getting up in the mornings, and they’ve found they have made a difference.

Some can also be set to have sound and/or flash as well.

It’s an unpleasant way to wake up speaks from lifetime of experience but effective, as it prompts both processes of coming out of sleep (waking up) and shaking off the grogginess. I’m definitely more groggy if DH wakes me up.

www.connevans.co.uk/productSearch.do?query=Alarm+clock&Search+Button=

Flip