My DD13 has been a bit more up and down than usual lately and has been saying that things aren't fair or she has no say over anything but I put this down to standard teenage hormonal behaviour.
Then last night I emptied the bin in her room and found 2 bits of paper. On one she had written 'I hate you' multiple times along with 'F*cking let me be' and 'I hate myself'. On the other she had written about feeling trapped, wondering if her feelings are valid and not understanding her emotions.
I showed them to her and asked her about them and she just shut down and point blank denied she had written them. I told her I wasn't mad, wasn't judging her, was just worried, that I loved her etc but she wouldn't change her story.
I've now had a sleepless night wondering what to do and feeling awful that I've somehow missed this. I'm a single parent and we all have busy lives but I do talk to my kids a lot, they come to me with problems usually and I always give them praise and tell them I love them and am proud of them.
Yesterday before all this she showed me some very faint scratches on the back of her wrist, saying she didn't know where they came from and now I'm worrying that was self harm.
I don't know how to help her if she won't talk to me. I asked her big sister but she hasn't said anything to her. I had depression as a teen but not this young. I'm frankly terrified and feeling very guilty.