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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Depressed 13yo? Don't know what to do

1 reply

bathsh3ba · 05/03/2023 07:03

My DD13 has been a bit more up and down than usual lately and has been saying that things aren't fair or she has no say over anything but I put this down to standard teenage hormonal behaviour.

Then last night I emptied the bin in her room and found 2 bits of paper. On one she had written 'I hate you' multiple times along with 'F*cking let me be' and 'I hate myself'. On the other she had written about feeling trapped, wondering if her feelings are valid and not understanding her emotions.

I showed them to her and asked her about them and she just shut down and point blank denied she had written them. I told her I wasn't mad, wasn't judging her, was just worried, that I loved her etc but she wouldn't change her story.

I've now had a sleepless night wondering what to do and feeling awful that I've somehow missed this. I'm a single parent and we all have busy lives but I do talk to my kids a lot, they come to me with problems usually and I always give them praise and tell them I love them and am proud of them.

Yesterday before all this she showed me some very faint scratches on the back of her wrist, saying she didn't know where they came from and now I'm worrying that was self harm.

I don't know how to help her if she won't talk to me. I asked her big sister but she hasn't said anything to her. I had depression as a teen but not this young. I'm frankly terrified and feeling very guilty.

OP posts:
Sunnysunbun · 05/03/2023 07:22

I’m sure someone with more expertise will come along soon but I didn’t want to read and not reply.
Are you able to spend some time with her? Go out for the day? Take her to lunch or shopping. Really engage with her doing something fun? So you can start to have all kinds of conversations around what’s going on?
I joined tik tock so I could talk to my dd about different things which are going on. I think it’s very hard being 13 and I have had to make a concerted effort to really engage with my dd. We cook mad recipes off tik tock or go and find places she’s found on there.
I really feel for you both 13 is wonderful and awful all at the same time.

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