DS 17 going abroad soon

[JaffaMCCakey]

I’m just anxious- he’s quite an immature 17 year old, struggles with organising himself, loses things constantly, misjudges situations, makes poor decisions. Can’t manage time or follow simple instructions. (Believe he has ADHD if that’s relevant).

He’s going abroad to Spain with his gf and 2 other couples in June (he’ll be 18 by then).

It’s the first holiday without his family and I’m so worried he’s going to get into some sort of bother. All sorts is going through my mind like he’ll lose his money or passport, or miss his flight or get into some bar brawl (he’s not a trouble maker at all but has no fear so where most people would ignore or disengage with potential trouble he would probably end up escalating). Or forgetting to apply sun lotion and being burnt to a crisp or getting so drunk he’ll be violently ill.

I can’t stop worrying- can anyone relate?

on the plus side his gf is absolutely lovely, caring and mature but I worry for her too having to put up with him for 10 days in a row.

'put up with him' wow op that's truly a lovely sentiment about your son

He sounds pretty mature to me if he has a girlfriend and is going away with other couples at just-turned-18!! There's nowt you can do about it - he will be an adult so there's no point on stressing - his girlfriend chose to go with him so I'm sure between them all they will survive.

It was meant in jest, he is the first to admit he’s hard work

Thank you, I just needed a bit of reassurance, I’m sure you’re right

Just make sure he has travel insurance...

Oh definitely- that’s not something I would forget

It's absolutely normal for kids to go away with a group of friends after their A levels are finished. He will be ok

I think going away with friends in sixth form is normal. It’s Spain, not very far, and he is going with other people. It’ll be fine. What sort of holiday? A package? Or are they doing their own thing?

OP - I went to festivals at that age with friends and then to ibiza in late teens/ early twenties - I hve adhd. I made soooo many terrible decisions but I had an amazing time! This is life, he is learning - yes he may get sunburnt ( I did) - he may get injuries through reckless drinking behaviour (I did!) but I am now 45 and a real grown up with family and a sensible life!

It sounds like he has amazingfriends/ girlfriend good for him - maybe just have a chat with him about these things - he will need to make these mistakes himself in life to a certain extent.

I would say, make sure you and he have photocopies of his passport, take shorts/trousers with zip pockets as things are much less likely to drop out of them or get pinched, make sure he gets to the airport in plenty of time - he's with a group so I doubt he'll miss his flight.

The getting drunk/sun cream things though probably pretty much par for the course when it comes to teens on holidays! Just remind them all that they need to stay together, look out for each other, watch each others drinks etc.

My daughter went travelling round South East Asia for two months when she only just turned 18. On her own.

He'll be fine.

My DS is going away in summer too, similar age. I'm terrified. He's quite cautious so I don't think he'll do anything reckless, but there are plenty of other things to worry about. I'm trying to tell myself it's life, it's part of the growing up process, and I just have to deal with it, like I dealt with him starting school and going to pubs etc. It'll be a very long week for me though.

One of mine did this with six friends from school on a week’s trip to Italy; all seventeen year old girls and they were absolutely fine. The only slightly bad thing that happened was that they had mistakenly booked a villa 40 minutes from town and shops so they were hungry when they arrived late, in the dark, the first night and next morning, because they hadn’t planned ahead, but they soon hired a bicycle and got organised.

I just gave them a warning about swimming + alcohol being a bad combination and taking care of their banks cards and passports and that was it. I was worried but they had a blast. I’m sure he’ll be fine op; they are always a bit helpless when we helicopter over them but they usually shape up left to their own devices. I hope it goes well and he has a great time!

My just 18 year old with diagnosed ADHD went on a 'lads' holiday last July to Bulgaria. There were 14 of them and I was petrified. One of the others was his elder brother so I had 2 of them to worry about. I had a couple of calls during the week. But they all came back unscathed.

He'll be fine. My soon to be 19 year old is currently travelling in Asia for 5 months. I bought him the best travel insurance and just try to keep calm !! I did the same at 18. Got myself into some silly scrapes but nothing major. All life learning lessons!

ds(18) is going away this summer for the first time too, but with 10 lads 🤦‍♀️

Don't think many parents wouldn't worry, I just keep repeating to myself "he's with his friends and he'll be absolutely fine..."

Which reminds me I need to tell him AGAIN he needs to sort out his travel insurance. We don't tend to go abroad ourselves, is there anything specific he should be looking for or anyone recommend a policy? He was talking about an annual one as he might do a city break with his gf this year too.

My son went away alone at age 15 and was fine, I was on the phone talking him through everything

Thanks everyone- feeling much better now! I will ensure we have photocopies of passport and important documents. Have already bought shorts with zips - this is a good idea though thank you. It’s an all inclusive which I think will include alcohol 😬, but hopefully they won’t over do it.

I know I need to let go a bit as they’ve all got to grow up and experience these things, just worries me. I guess it’s quite normal for parents to feel a bit apprehensive about going abroad though.

And I need to remember that mobile phones work abroad too 😁

Travel insurance, photocopies and photos backed up on iCloud of all important documents. If he gets his phone stolen he could still log in to his email and access what he needs.
Make sure you have all the emails re bookings, and numbers for his friends and gf.
Hope he has fun !

Thank you very much ☺️

hes 18-he could be a parent! Let him alone, needs to make his own mistakes

Well, I have sons and at that age , yep, I’d give a medal to any gf living in same room as them for longer than 1 night 🤣🤣🤣

😂😂

This.
multiple copies of passport and insurance in each bag. Hopefully if 1 bag goes walkabout with passport he’s at least got a copy to get emergency ones issued at consulate

do get him to sit down and look up about how replace a lost passport in country he’s going to, how to get medical care, etc etc. don’t do it for him, but don’t assume he knows how much of a pain loosing passport, ticket etc is - so get him to inform himself before he goes

talk to him about hiring moped etc…don’t know laws now but young inexperienced non liscense holding people could hire moped in some countries. Bloody dangerous especially if drinking on other side of road. Ask him if he thinks it’s a good idea and why and what precautions he’d take if that’s the case

oh, and precautions 🫣 do make sure he has enough for 10 days - I had an idiot husband who even forgot those for holidays on one occasion in our youth 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄.

the rest of stuff he can make mistakes with but road accidents, lost documents and pregnancies ain’t them if at all possible.

my son went when 17 as august baby and still 17 after aA levels…he managed just fine. Yep, drunk too much, didn’t use sun cream, lost a few things, but came back fine and a teeny bit wiser.