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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How do you spend (enjoyable!) time with your 15yo?

48 replies

Substandard · 01/03/2023 17:05

He's a good kid, doing ok at school and can be very nice when not 'teen mode'.

He trains at the gym or his sport a couple of times a week, has a girlfriend he sees once a week, and the rest of the time retreats to his room, on his phone or Xbox. Tbh he would rather eat all his meals in his room in watching YouTube!

I would like to try and maintain our relationship and need some ideas of things that we can do together that he won't just turn his nose up at. It can't be the Xbox because my rubbishness stresses him out!

Any ideas??

OP posts:
MaggieMagpie357 · 01/03/2023 17:09

To be honest I'd not be allowing meals in bedrooms. Some of the best times spent with my teens are at the dinner table, no phones allowed and we eat together as a family most nights. I don't ask much of them but this is non-negotiable!

TwigTheWonderKid · 01/03/2023 17:10

I think at this age it's hard to find a regular activity you'd both willingly take part in so it's good to try and build smaller things in, just to keep communication going. I walk to the train station with my 14 yo every day and we chat along the way, which we both enjoy. Also going out to eat is popular with teens.

Zhx3 · 01/03/2023 17:12

I have one just older and one just younger. I've taken them away without their siblings, for a couple of nights before. Got them to write a list of what they want to do, then worked through it.

Jumbojem · 01/03/2023 17:27

Mine likes to be treated to the odd coffee out where we then chat. We eat dinner as a family most eves.
I'm terms of chatting, a car journey often produces good chats. I read on here once that someone said their teen opens up more in the car as you aren't sat face to face so makes it less intense, of3 that makes sense, it seemed to work for us anyway.

Substandard · 01/03/2023 18:34

Thanks all.

He does eat with us sometimes but there are some very specific reasons which would out me if I explained why I am not too worried about the eating in the room business at the moment even if it doesn't fit the family ideal.

I was just wondering if anyone had any activities that they did just with their sons (or daughters) to give me different ideas for having more fun.

We are dab hands at the "face forward deep talk in the car" thing!

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 01/03/2023 18:38

Climbing wall

jinglebell123 · 01/03/2023 18:56

No good for a regular thing, but maybe an escape room might work

FourTeaFallOut · 01/03/2023 19:00

Settle down late in the evening with a drink and snacks and fire up your favourite movie, give it 5 minutes and then they'll march downstairs to give you an appraisal on the state of the world and all of their opinions on it. Guaranteed.

Riapia · 01/03/2023 19:02

Take them to a quiz night.
They know everything.
Guaranteed to win,……maybe.

.

pastaandpesto · 01/03/2023 19:03

My DS15 sounds very similar OP (only without the fitness)!

He's got great taste in nineties music so sometimes we will take one earbud each and go for a stroll with a good play list.

SkalengeckOrSiegbarste · 01/03/2023 19:03

My preteens (I know it's a different age, but could be a possibility) recently surprised me by really getting into playing dominoes with their grandparents. It's so nice to watch them deeply engaged in a game that isn't on a screen and there hasn't been any fighting which is extremely unusual!

sunshineandshowers21 · 01/03/2023 19:04

i’ve started going fishing with my fifteen year old. he goes most weekends by himself normally so i tag along every few weeks or so. he enjoys teaching me and we get to spend a few hours together without his younger siblings.

CottonPyjamas · 01/03/2023 19:06

You've mentioned your son does sports. Is it one where you can watch him play? My son (also 15) plays rugby and I go along to his games. I've just read your post to him and he suggested making things, likes models or something out of wood. We also go out (not regularly) to watch astronomical phenomena. We pack up treats, sleeping bags and camping chairs and make an event of it

Temporaryanonymity · 01/03/2023 19:06

Things I can get my older teen to do:

play badminton
city breaks
geocaching (not in our home town though)
eating out
cookery course (pricy but he enjoys it)
eating cheese/buying cheese
trips to food markets for steak etc
movie trips (the younger teen only)
basketball in the park (younger one, never the older one, it would be too embarrassing for him)
board game cafes (both of them)

CottonPyjamas · 01/03/2023 19:07

Oh and just to add, we sometimes cook or bake together

Temporaryanonymity · 01/03/2023 19:07

Oh and cooking on the beach

Temporaryanonymity · 01/03/2023 19:07

I just remembered, we go through phases of playing lots of cards and backgammon.

Kindlethefourth · 01/03/2023 19:10

Comedy is my thing with DD2. Started with a box set or a streaming of a stand up and now she is 16 we have been and will continue going to live stand up. She is doing business studies so have made dragons den/the apprentice our tv night with snacks on basis it is 'educational' 😂😂

commentnotaquestion · 01/03/2023 19:11

I went to a festival with my teen last summer - we had a great time
The odd camping trip with friends
Trying a new restaurant - somewhere cheap and fun
Going to musicals
We have a few programmes we watch together
A jigsaw was a surprise hit at Christmas

commentnotaquestion · 01/03/2023 19:12

Comedy is a great idea!

lilyfire · 01/03/2023 19:15

I have three teen boys. One of them will come and see certain art exhibitions/plays/stand up with me; one will come to the cinema to watch horror films or go out to eat at the right place; the other is coaching me on weight lifting. They will all sometimes come out for a round of crazy golf and we’ve done Go Ape type things a few times (which was really scary for me!).

BertieBotts · 01/03/2023 19:18

Following because I have the same with my DS 14!

We do play some games together - silly ones like Overcooked where it doesn't matter if you're rubbish because that's part of the fun.

Do jigsaws - if I just start one and he randomly happens to come in then he tends to end up sitting and doing it with me for a while. We had one last Christmas which was 1000 piece "impossible puzzle" emojis which was great.

Watch a series together. His Dark Materials was great (we still have season 3 to catch up on!)

He has started playing chess which I find deathly boring but might see if DH wants a game with him.

DH and he did a coding/game design course and project together.

Occasional DIY project - we are planning to spruce up his drawers with ripped up manga comics. We have stripped the wallpaper on his bedroom wall and will paint it together. I'm helping him clear out his bedroom to make space for this.

I'm doing a car boot in a couple of weeks and have roped him into helping by offering to pay him 20% of whatever profit we make - I think this will actually be quite fun, I remember doing this with my mum at about that age.

He is into cooking so will occasionally ask me to teach him a recipe or technique.

Quiz night sounds brill!! I need to find one. Actually it's probably a good age for going to a comedy night or similar as well if there is anything local that isn't cringingly risqué.

Whiterose23 · 01/03/2023 19:19

Some of the things we do with our teen:

theatre - both local and west end
board games/cards
baking
English heritage - for some reason more successful than national trust
bouldering
crazy golf - we have a few local ones and this is always guaranteed to engage
garden games - badminton and cub are always good fun and can get rather competitive
pizza making and bbq in the summer
theme parks, we have merlin passes and theme park weekends are always the most popular

PhotoDad · 01/03/2023 19:27

We play long, complex, boardgames, often co-operative rather than competitive.

Pixie2015 · 01/03/2023 19:27

We still sit at table to eat at night to ask about school and talk about family things.
he loves cinema with us or watching a film together on a weekend night.
enjoys pub lunch / coffe and cake.

we also bake together or cook but he picks recipe.

on holidays we play cards / uno / board games

simil to what others have said