Year sevens & sex/sexuality (can we please go back to primary school)

[BluesandClues]

Oldest started secondary school this academic year.

Ever since they started, it’s been like a parade of ‘sexuality, labels, relationships, gender, sex practices, weird kinky things that eleven year olds shouldn’t realistically know about.’ Every week brings a new thing, a new bizarre concept to explain (latest one was furries).

I have traumatised Pedro the panda so much this past year, he daren’t look the other soft toys in the eye anymore.

I have spoken to the school, because I was like ‘is this normal?’ Apparently it’s like the new thing. Why can’t lego be the newest thing? Or I dunno, goths and emos.

Oh well, it’s kept Pedro in a job.

Sounds like the school are in breach of the DfE guidelines https://www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum#choosing-resources

"^ When deciding if a resource is suitable, you should consider if it:
• aligns to the teaching requirements set out in the statutory guidance
• would support pupils in applying their knowledge in different contexts and settings
• is age-appropriate - think about the age, developmental stage and background of your pupils
• is evidence-based and contains robust facts and statistics
• fits into your curriculum plan
• is from a credible source^"

These things also usually fall foul of this bit too:

"You should not reinforce harmful stereotypes, for instance by suggesting that children might be a different gender based on their personality and interests or the clothes they prefer to wear. Resources used in teaching about this topic must always be age-appropriate and evidence based. Materials which suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity should not be used and you should not work with external agencies or organisations that produce such material."

Challenge the school. Show them the guidance.

Errrrm, surely it's not coming from the school?!

I think furries, as the example given, is 100% more likely to have come from students.

Probably, students who have unrestricted access to social media and decide to share this with children who aren't ready.

I was shocked to hear the statistics about children being exposed to porn unwillingly through WhatsApp group chats etc

Is it coming direct from the school or from other kids on the yard?

Lord no, it’s all from the kids themselves. When I asked the school about it all, they said they try and have a supportive environment to help kids express themselves.

I am going in to try and meet with them with regards to some more serious concerns I’m having, but that’s a different story tbh. One kid in particular has said some stuff to dc which was really horrendous. DC was fine, but the kid detailed a potentially abusive scenario to dc. I’ve emailed them, but want to follow it up.

Dts are in y7, they apparently have several furries across the cohort. It's not sexual (yet) it's young kids that have got hold of an idea somewhere. Furries are on tok tok and it filters down ,

I can't say I disagree with you but I am not sure what really can be done

When my son started year 7 we warned him kids will speak of things in a different way it is not like primary and although I think individual issues should be addressed as a specific incident bur are you really going to have your child say 'mum sam Jones said this to me today can you report Sam to the school'

Sure they give an assembly, newsletter, have teachers say 'now kids stop talking about scary grown up things'

What would really happen?

Whenever I’ve spoken to the school, it has literally been about bullying issues etc.

I’m not stupid, I know I can’t really stop it. I really wish I could though, I’m tired of it all.

@BluesandClues I can imagine, but I think it's a testament to you that your child is asking you/talking to you rather than googling the answers by themselves!

My kids are in Y9 and I don't know what a furry is 😭 (I'm sure they do).

So if you identify as a furry (is that correct terminology? Or are you just a furry?), can you come to school dressed in a furry onesie? (Uniform colours)

My DC having this conversation in the car yesterday when my year 7 asked me if I knew what a furry was. The 16 yo explained to the 11 yo that you couldn't identify as a furry, as it was about your preference rather than your identity but that it was different to zoophilia. In the meantime, I thought I'd been asked what a fairy was was, so it was all very confusing to me. Honestly I'd rather the y7 wasn't particularly learning about these things but it doesn't really seem to affect her that much.

No oldest is very matter of fact about these things.

Trying to be very open about it all, but my goodness I do long for the days of Lego and Pokemon. It was all a smidge simpler wasn’t it.

Very confused here - what is a furry?

34 years old and just had to google what a furrie is!