DS becoming distant

[1357]

My 14 yr old has recently become quite distant-not uncommunicative just nothing like it was. As an only child i want a good relationship and dont want to frighten him off. Any suggestions of how to retain closeness?

If you are sure that there is nothing bothering him, then I would say it is normal teenage behaviour. Mine went through a phase of being like that, but things more back to normal now. Try not to worry about it, don't take it personally, and if you start a conversation and he's not interested, then leave well alone. Makethe most of the rare occasion when he does feel like talking. I think they start to struggle with feeling grown up and seeing closeness to "Mummy" as childish and perhaps being locked in their own world and needing time to themselves. It won't last for ever, mine even kissed me goodnight the other night (making me wonder what he'd done.....) Hopefully lots of other Mums of teenagers will be along to confirm or offer other advice.

That is normal teenage behavoir. DD1 only went through a very brief stage of not talking to us and she loved going to town and talking over coffee. We still meet up to do this. But D2 18 doesn't talk to us very much and when dshe does it tends to be late at night just before she is going to bed. So I just make sure I'm ready to listen when she does want to talk. Byt she does always ( well nearly always ) kiss us good night.

IMO the quality of the conversation can go downhill, too, so you may not be missing much.

Currently ds2 seems to be going through a 'boy fact' phase. Reminds me of the two boys in the film 'Gregory's Girl' who try to impress the girls with inane nerdy anoraky information.

....and then try to hitch-hike to Caracas.

Ds1(14)is doing this. When he wants to tell me something he will come and start telling me something trivial, then relaxes and tells me the serious stuff.

I try not to ask him questions first or he just clams up.

Mine's like this, but when I do get hold of him and talk to him he does open up

My dd 16 doesn't talk to me much. I try to remember that I was pretty much that way with my parents at that age. On the other hand, my dd does talk to her dad (who lives elsewhere) so sometimes it feels like I have drawn the short straw. Would love to improve the situation, but I've no idea where to begin.

My DSs got to a certain age and became far less communicative. I have tried not to intrude too much on their space, but I do make time for them - little chats when giving lifts (If they are in a talkative mood) or the occasional meal out - just me and DS - and this seems to keep the channels of communication open.

Normal my DS (13) is like this. Dont ask questions as they either clam up or go mad.

My 16 year old is like this-I think it is a phase (I hope)-occasionally I get glimpses of the old sparkle-I just keep the lines of communication open. It is no good asking questions.

Normal. I find the best approach is to provide opportunities to chat, but never do the direct questioning approach - they'll tell you nothing!! My ds chats more when doing something together - cooking, going somewhere in the car etc. I'm fairly philosphical about it - most of them seem to grow out of it.