What does your 15yr old do?

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My ds won't join any clubs and has no interest in doing anything with friends at the weekend. He used to run but lost interest, he has very few friends and they play football which he dislikes. He's very into films and would happily spend all his life watching them. We used to try and get him out for a walk with the dog at the weekends but he doesn't want to do that now. He's bright but puts very little effort in at school.. Am I stressing over nothing?

My 15 year old is quite sporty but doesn't play football. He spends quite a bit of time outside school doing this but whilst he does have friends at school he won't arrange to meet them and sits in his room all the time on games or reading. He will rarely join us for a walk without a lot of cajoling. I think all the time in his room during lockdown wasn't helpful for developing social skills.

I would focus on what he enjoys, is there a film club he could join or anything related.

What is his ambition? What does he want to do at university or as a job?

Now is a good time to start thinking this will look good on my usas/cv.

Looking good on a personal statement diesng mean doing random extra curricular just as busy-work because Mum wants you to come away from a screen. It wants to be focused and relevant to the course/job.

Would he like Explorer Scouts?

Mine are older but both did football and refereeing. Also scouts which was fantastic. And part time jobs at 16. DS1 did a bit of gaming. DS2 not interested. He did cricket up to 15 though, then dropped it.
Unless it was a full on day out the days of coming a walk with us were long gone.

Local film club together? Ours has fabulous randomly beautiful, what the hell was that, let’s talk about it, stuff from all over the world. He might be a budding film maker.

Similarly disinclined to socialise with friends, mine has a job which he loves. His colleagues treat him like an adult which he really appreciates. Not everyone takes under 16s, but they were happy to.
He also likes the cash!
he’s also in a drama group which he’s been in since primary school.

Have one who used to play rugby but now does nothing. Mainly dicks about with his mates. Will go to the gym with some encouragement.

His brother on the other hand is a busy bee and always doing something around music and performing arts. Loves the gym; and cooking and eating. Also has loads of mates and generally glides through life like a swan-lucky sod.

Just turned 16 foster son is Sports mad. He swims twice a week, does a karate class, does Crav Magar, runs once a week, and cricket practice 7 hours each week including a 1-1 session with cricket coach. He still watches TV, does homework, chats to friends on discord and games sometimes too. Sometimes he will cook as well. Always doing something. Meets up with friends in person occasionally, but has friends in sports.

Reading with interest as my son is the same op.
he’s on the computer though playing crap.
id encourage the film thing - foreign film, film festivals etc.
any advice for mine welcome!
I think covid plus family stress has contributed.

My 15 yr old sounds quite like yours, OP. She has definitely been damaged by online schooling/lockdowns in that she’s even more shy and introverted now. She’s stopped any socialising outside school (used to meet for board games), and just has one real school friend now. She dropped music lessons during lockdown, but has managed to keep up her other 2 hobbies (guides & dance). She won’t talk to the other kids though 😩 The rest of the time she’s in her room playing on her PlayStation or listening to music. Yes, I’m worried about her social isolation, but she is happy in her safe zone.
School isn’t going well, and she isn’t performing to her ability, but we have accepted this. We went to a college open day recently and that fired up her interest. It’s making her see the point in bringing up her grades to a certain level.
I’m really discovering what a different parent I need to be to her from what I grew up with! Best of luck OP, I know how worrying this can be but I think this generation will just need a bit longer to ‘find themselves’.

Mine is quite a homebody but has interests that get her out, Guides, boxing, art and some voluntary work. Noodles about on Instagram a lot. Reads, draws.
Has friends and goes through phases of being sociable and they go walking and second hand clothes shopping.
I think kids who struggle a bit with peers do well with either jobs or volunteering where they're mixing with older people. Having some purpose and validation is really good for self esteem.

Mine is very similar to yours OP. He has a girlfriend though so spends a huge amount of time with her, but just watching TV/movies. They don't really go out much, sometimes into town. He does go to the gym but doesn't play sports. He's a big gamer as well so when he's not with his girlfriend he'll be gaming. He has lots of friends at school but doesn't seem them out of school, despite the fact most live within walking/cycling distance.

It's a bit depressing really.

When my now 19 year old son was 15 he played rugby for the area (one evening practice and Sunday matches) and rowed (one evening practise and races whenever no other matches) as well as sport at school (which took up most Saturdays with matches). He wasn't academic though, so we had figured out he was unlikely to do A levels so looked into colleges for a more vocational route (he's a summer baby so took his GCSEs at 15). A week after he turned 16 he got a job doing KP at local café (then covid hit and he was made redundant).
Fitness continues to take up a lot of his time outside of work.

Thanks for all the replies .. a real mix of what our 15yr olds get up to. We do encourage the film interest.. I'm really into my films myself. I've tried to encourage him to join a film related club .. he went to one but was quite critical. I definitely think Covid impacted his social skills.. he's a quiet boy. I was thinking of a job.. might explore that.
He is meant to be doing work experience in summer term but lots of places won't take 15 year olds
He likes cycling but so many kids get there bikes nicked and he has first hand experience of that... onwards and upwards

My nearly 15 yr old twin boys, get home from school (different schools) log on and happily chat away to school friends online whilst playing games. Occasionally they combine the two groups.. which I guess counts for social interaction.

They don't want people here, they don't want to go there... Although one has agreed to go through a friend from a previous school for 2 hours tomorrow. First time in a VERY long time.

His fitness must be poor?

my DS… I fear too much sport but he loves. Rugby cross country cricket etc

Rugby club on Sunday in winter
Cricket in summer

Cycling with you or your partner every Sunday morning?

Siblings?

how come he was “very few friends”?

Does he enjoy school?

chess?

Football, it's the only thing he really enjoys. Other than that plays online with one particular friend but no one else. He was going to explorers which was excellent imo but he left.

He has friends at school but very rarely arranges to meet up outside school, maybe once over the school holidays he will go to play football with a groups of boys but that's it.

I do worry, he definitely changed after lockdown but I guess that could just be his age.

Once he's in year 11 I'm going to strongly encourage he finds a job.

It's a tricky one as you want your teenagers to be out enjoying themselves with friends or doing sports.

Unfortunately my friend's 15 year old goes out with mates and is always home by early evening, but has got in trouble with the police.

My friend is devastated and would love her son to stay at home in his room.

Hopefully you can find a happy medium somewhere!

Nearly 15 year old, positive things: part time job, gym, football, cooks, d of e, will come on days out if there’s something in it for him (food)

less positive things: hours gaming or mindless internet, very little school work, hanging around town with a few dubious friends

i swing between feeling optimistic about his future and really quite worried

I think lots of 15 year olds don't meet with friends anymore, lockdown caused a huge shift in behaviour.
DD will go to the cinema and the mall with one friend but just hanging out at each others houses doesn't really exist at all.

We saw a big shift in interest last winter, GCSE is not helping, she dropped some of her interest but we asked her to do one physical one and she started Taekwon Do, which surprisingly is a huge sucess.

Explorer Scouts is also good, not just for socialising but also learning skills and not just camping ones.

We also had an issue with work experience but got lucky with our local library after the animal sancturay wasn't able to accomodate the changed dates. Weekend jobs are similar impossible here, we have a large college and most jobs are taken by the students unless you have connections or a family business.

My DD is quite quiet. She was volunteering most week for half a day but has dropped that to once a month for exams.

She doesn't go out a lot as many of her friends are not allowed - she will still study sometimes at the library with them or they go out in school holidays to London / westfield for a shop and some lunch.

She likes to have a walk and some 1 on 1 time with me without her sister so if I walk up to the supermarket or shops to do some chores she will usually come with me.

She's a young one so no job yet - hoping for that in summer holidays to break the time if we can find one that will take a lot quite yet 16yo.

Oh she goes to gym once maybe twice a week as well by herself.

Just 16 yo is very sporty and if no organised games at weekend will take himself to park to meet a friend and kick a ball/do cricket nets. He cooks (I did a short Mexican cooking course with him recently (Xmas present) but does spend a lot of time on phone or gaming. Rarely watches a film (they are too long) but is living the Warship program on telly at the moment. I’d say the Armed Forces are à possibly for him.