Ideas for motivating a teen heading into GCSEs?

[FebFun]

My just turned 16 yr old DS is a “good kid”, only ever been in trouble once for teenage stupidity, isn’t argumentative, no girls, no smoking, drinking etc., I count myself lucky but…

He doesn’t give a damn about anything - personal hygiene, what he wears, helping out, school work, anything.

He is bright but his grades have been slipping slowly since yr 7, now we are at the stage where he’s been put on report for the first time ever as he just isn’t bothering to do homework.

If he’s not doing the bare minimum work, he’s certainly not going to be pushing his sleeves up to get into revision.

My new plan (having found out today that he’s been put on report) is to sit with him for an hour every evening to make sure homework is done & then sit with him at the weekend to work on revision with him.

Any better ideas? Any suggestions of what has worked for you? Am soooo frustrated!!

You could ask if the school does after school homework club or revision classes?

Do the school do revision lunch sessions - try and encourage him to go to them.
my DS is doing his this summer so understand. My DS wants to do well and talks a good talk but coasts by. He did not do well in mocks. He has got more motivated now. Good luck it’s so hard !

He’s been offered lunchtime revision sessions & after school catch up sessions but he doesn’t bother going as he can’t be arsed. Even if he did go, he wouldn’t listen / learn anything, he’s just so incredibly blasé about the whole thing.

He doesn’t give a damn about anything - personal hygiene, what he wears, helping out, school work, anything.

All of these are red flags 🚩 for clinical depression. I’d actually try and ask him how he is doing/feeling, why he doesn’t seem to care about anything.

Just dictating doing study sessions with him because of grades isn’t going to show you care about him as a person, only what scores he gets on his exams.

If depressed then see a GP.

Otherwise: what are his plan for y12? What grades does he need? Will he get them? What are the fall back plans? Does he know that doing nothing in y12 isn't an option and what the consequences of that would be (eg no allowance, phone not paid for, restricted internet access etc).

I agree with others about possible mental health issues. Most lads by 16 are at least a bit bothered by what they wear, what they look like, smelling nice. It’s concerning that he’s just not bothered about anything so I would speak to him and encourage him to see a GP.

If there’s nothing like that going on and he refuses to go to to revision classes and won’t sit and listen and learn anything, won’t put effort into school, I’m not sure he’s to be described as a ‘good kid’.

It’s very late to try to turn this around in time for his exams. What does he want to do next year? Does he know what results he needs to achieve in order to do that?

I'm a secondary teacher and this is very common! It is rarely a sign of depression. Is it possible he has got so behind that the thought of catching up is just really overwhelming? Bright kids who have been lazy over the years often mask the fact that they are struggling with feigned ambivalence. If it's not that he might suddenly get a shock after his next set of mocks? Or possibly in August and therefore need to resit (not the end of the world!) Ultimately all you can do is what you plan to do and perhaps have a chat about creating checklists of revision tasks and a revision timetable and maybe get some simple revision guides. I'd keep revision little and often (30 mins max per subject at a time) and start with the basics. The school are offering support as are you - you can only take the horse to water so to speak!

Thanks GoingcrazyImsure - pretty sure there are no mental health issues.

He wants to do an apprenticeship or some sort of engineering college course next year as he has no interest in academic learning.

I have taken him to college open evenings where they have reiterated that competition is high for apprenticeships but this doesn’t seem to motivate him.

Essentially, for the basic course he needs 5 grade 4s at GCSE which he is hoping to scrape.

He’s a bright kid, if he actually put the effort in, he’d probably get mostly Bs & a few As in old money. He just can’t be bothered & nothing seems immediate enough to motivate him to try?!

Make sure he knows it's a right pain resiting Maths & English.
For DD it means she is at college 4 days a week instead of 3.

Also, if he doesn't get the grades he'll have to start at Level 2 and that means an extra year at college too.