Would you turn a blind eye to this?

[AKASheilaTheGreat]

Ds is 16, not 17 until December

On the whole, he's no bother. Typical teenager but nothing outside the boundaries of normal.

He does go out with mates but not a daily or weekly thing but I can now hear him talking to one of his friends arranging to meet tomorrow (half term)

They're discussing the beer they'll drink / maybe they'll try a Smirnoff/ more chat about wine

I know he's drank alcohol before and I've collected him from a friends before and he's clearly been 'merry'

Ive said the usual stuff about how he's 16, not 18, how to be sensible, all sorts - managing to end up on the right side of it being a lecture

So ... do I say anything about tomorrow? I don't want him to be drinking with mates at his age (incidentally all friends he's had since he was 5!) and I know one vapes and god knows what else

But I also know what I was doing well before the age of 16 so... this is definitely a case of 'do as I say and not as I've done!'

So - unclench? I can say all the stuff about not drinking and he's not to and he'll go ' yes mum!' And then of course do as he wants

So am I OTT or just a typical rite of passage?

Tell him not to get drunk and to call you anytime if he’s in trouble.

Thanks! Yep, he knows he can call me about anything at any time. I've said to do this whatever the problem is , legal or not, and I will be there to get him.

He tells me 'most' things and he'd absolutely tell me tomorrow that's he's had a 'couple'

This will be after I collect him : he walks back though!

You should definitely talk to him about the dangers of drinking and being as sensible as possible, to never, ever get in a car with someone who's been drinking, alcohol poisoning, etc. He also needs to know that you will come get him anytime, anywhere.

@Aquamarine1029 yeah covered all that. Told him no spirits etc etc but of course he will give vodka a go if it's there ..He drank for the first time in the summer holidays last year, and when I picked him up he opened the door and said 'alright darlin'' and we'll, let's just say it was obvious he'd had some beer ..

I’d talk to him about it

they generally go through a stage of being absolute idiots with drinking - too much too soon and getting into a right state- and you do need to know (to some extent) what he’s up to

@hamstersarse true. I'll keep the lines of communication open as usual

I'd talk to him about it, maybe even go so far as to give him a couple of low alcohol drinks to take with him.

Tell him to call you if he wants to come home, maybe even a code word if he wants to leave but not lose face in front of his friends, tell him if he texts a certain word/sentence you'll ring him, bollock him for something and then tell him you're coming to collect him.

I think it's about giving him the autonomy to do it, but he knows you trust him not to be daft and he can ring you if it gets out of hand

@CleaningOutMyCloset that's good advice and yep, we already do this. He knows he can text me anytime and I'll be there.

Can't see me sending him off with alcohol though because I don't condone it and I don't want to be his mate if that makes sense

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