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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

son is coming out and worried he is being groomed online

3 replies

teenageparentingworries · 09/02/2023 14:52

Concerned about my nearly 17 yr old. there is two issues going on - quite possibly linked...

Firstly, my son has befriended someone online (he says he met him in mine-craft) who lives in USA. They are now in constant contact online - long overnight conversations over the phone (which is concerning as we are in UK - so USA awake time is our night time). My son seems quite infatuated with this person and they would like to meet up over the summer. This boy (or man or whoever) is now contacting me (number handed on by my son) to try and 'get to know' me to convince me this is a good idea......I am strongly against it as as far as I'm concerned he is a stranger! My key concern is he is grooming and coercing my son into a relationship and perhaps influencing his sexual preferences / behaviours.

Secondly, I am almost 99% sure my son is about to come out about his sexuality - which I am happy about if he is happy - although not entirely sure he knows and could be bi-sexual.
However, he doesnt know I know, and am at a loss of how to best support him in this transition of coming out. My biggest concern is his safety and being able to offer best support and advice to help him navigate this (in whichever direction it may go).

I am keen to have any recommendations of good podcasts / audible-books / websites to help guide me through this.

Just a bit concerned on several levels. I have contacted social work for advice about this person (who could be grooming my son) who say because he is over 16 I cannot do anything (check phone for coercive behaviour etc).....other than be supportive and there for him.

Thoughts welcome pls! I'm a single mum...head bursting and lots of sleepless nights this week!

OP posts:
Cakeyface123 · 12/02/2023 11:45

Omg I could have wrote this myself 2 years ago!!

Things got back on track but now we’re heading down another slippery slope. I hate social media 😖 really struggling with the lack of control I have over who he is talking to. I can’t keep up with the apps and technology and whatever boundaries I put in place he seems to override them. I have no advice, just a hug of solidarity x

Northernparent68 · 13/02/2023 15:37

He’s 17 I don’t think there’s anything you can do apart from warn him this maybe catfishing

teenageparentingworries · 19/02/2023 15:34

Thank you - it is concerning and shifting sands all the time - its so hard to keep up and get him to freely open up.

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