Possible mental health or a stupid comment?

[Bucketlistbucket]

The police turned up at my house at midnight last night. We were all asleep. They wanted to do a check and speak with my 15 year old DS. Before lights out he had told a friend on social media he wasn’t loved and didn’t want to be here anymore. Friend took advice from family and family reported to the police for which I am extremely grateful.

When the police spoke with DS he initially denied it. He quickly then admitted he had but that he didn’t know why. He said he didn’t feel that way. He got the fright of his life with the police being here. The police were brilliant. Spoke to him about needing to check he is ok. Not to be ashamed or upset if he is feeling that way and that help is always available. Talked about finding him in any other circumstances could have resulted in them taking control over us as parents and getting medical help for him. They could see we are a close family and we’re happy to leave him here. They we’re here for about 40 minutes.

I obviously need to talk to DS more both about mental health and getting help. Also pranks/making stuff up and to try and get to the bottom of what’s gone on. Also to explain to him consequences, how his friend must have felt last night and wasting police if this has been a throw away comment.

I do not want to diminish how he’s feeling if there is the slightest possibility that he is struggling but I don’t know where to start and how to get beyond the answer of I don’t know. I have always said to DS that if he needs to tell me something he doesn’t feel he can say out loud is to text me or write me a note.

Can anyone offer any help?

Also just for clarity, all screens are off and out of his room by half 9. Lights out at 10. I have access to his phone and do check it, just not for the last few weeks.

I would ask him again if there's anything going on that he wants to talk about. I would reiterate that I'm always there for him, or suggest arranging counselling if he would prefer to talk to a neutral person. I wouldn't go on and on about it though. Sometimes the more you ask, the more they claim up.

I wouldn't mention pranks or wasting police time. This may have been a throwaway comment that he didn't really mean, but it definitely doesn't sound like a deliberate prank as I'm sure he didn't expect this result from it.

It sounds like the police did an amazing job 👏

I would just go down the route of does he need some support.
I think by the police coming out in the night and knowing his friends mum made the referral he will have already worked out its not a good idea to cry wolf if that's what it is about. But I would wonder why the parents didn't talk to you directly if they were worried , Have they got other worries for your son if they called the police on the basis of one comment. So has he presented this way, said more and are you unapproachable for some reason. We are all doing our best but doesn't mean we miss things or can't do things differently.

Thanks both.

yes the police were amazing.

the friend he said it to doesn’t live locally. It’s someone he knows through an activity he does. That person lives about 200 miles away. I don’t know this friends parents. Wouldn’t know how to get in touch and I am pretty sure vice versa.